Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Good News...Bad News...Still Praising HIM!

I am VERY CORNFUSED right now. But still very at peace that Jesus has me & my babies in his palm.

My appointment was uneventful today (or so I thought). The US tech RAVED about my "UTERINE PERFECTION" as I had my cd10 US. My lining was 9mm-& trilaminar-right where they want it! I also had my estradiol drawn but won't get results until tomorrow and then they will adjust my delestrogen dose. I also had my pap while I was there. It all went really smooth & I THOUGHT I was right on track for my transfer in 2 weeks.

AT 6:30pm my phone rang and it was the nurse telling me that my Dr. wanted me to call him at home tonight after 10:30pm to discuss the US results. I asked her if it was regarding the possible left hydrosalpinx near my left ovary. (which the sono tech said was "NO BIG DEAL") and she said "yes". CRAP!!!

I promptly called him at 10:40pm and he said that IF I do have a hydrosalpinx, then my chances of pregnancy decrease by 50%. He gave me 2 options....

  1. He told me the "optimal" solution would be to STOP MY CYCLE RIGHT NOW and have surgery to remove my tube. BUT, it would cancel everything I've been doing (acupuncture, doctor appointments, arranging around my husband & 6 kids schedules)
  2. OR He can drain the tube transvaginally the day before my procedure. Which WOULD NOT cancel my cycle. He said that he has had patients get pregnant both ways.

He also said it may truly not even be a hydrosalpinx since it has never been seen on any previous ultrasounds. He also said it could go away by my US next week. I asked him what he would do if it were his wife. He said "you have SO MUCH invested here with your husband & childrens work schedules & you have such a positive outlook and way about you, I would just go for it. Sometimes in life you have to take chances." Then he said He also said "if you don't get pregnant, I will work with you on ANY FEES for doing a second transfer." HERE IS A GOOD ARTICLE ON HYDROSALPINX.

These DARN ovaries and tubes have been NOTHING BUT TROUBLE FOR ME since I had my oldest with all my endometriosis, pain etc. I can't WAIT to get these out after I deliver my babies!

I believe JESUS IS THE ULTIMATE PHYSICIAN and HE WILL MAKE THIS GO AWAY before my babies get there. Remember just a few weeks ago on my first sono, I had 2 large cysts-1-5cm, 1-3cm. I prayed over my belly and those cysts several times daily and those babies were gone by my next US!

My DH was asleep when I called so I haven't shared the news with him yet. I will be doing some serious praying over my left side and I know MY GOD will make this work out. My thought right now is, If it is still there next week right before I go to CA, I may cancel then but I need to pray until then& wouldn't mind it if you all prayed along with me.

I know one thing...I DO NOT WANT TO PUT MY EMBIES in any danger of being lost & me being the cause. I am at peace with everything right now. I'm not scared but I don't know 100% what to do. TIME TO GET ON MY KNEES and talk to THE BIG GUY. What would YOU DO?

Lord, What am I to do? Please ease any anxieties or fears I may have. I will seek your calm and wisdom here. Help me not to make a selfish, rash decision but to look to you for all the answers. You have opened SO MANY DOORS along this journey. I just find it hard to believe that this closes the door. Lord, you know how much planning and logisitcs this has taken for our family to make this happen. If you want to shut this cycle down Lord, make it clear to us. No matter which doors open or close, I promise one thing, to be FAITHFUL TO YOU and PRAISE YOU no matter what. Help me to live my life to serve you. AMEN

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

10 comments:

  1. I am hoping that God leads you to the right choice. I know it can be hard but I love your attitude. I'm glad to have met you because we share a lot in common. I'm praying for you and hoping that this is it for you! If you ever need to talk, I'm here!

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  2. Praying for you to have His wisdom. As for us, we have decided not to pursue IVF. Only adoption at this point.

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  3. Hi Sweetie,

    I am so sorry to hear the news!!! I think you are on the right path. I do believe this is a test to make sure you put God first- which you have. Let's pray this disappears just like your cysts. If not, it sounds like your decision to put your babies first has been made- which I completely and wholeheartly agree with. Unfortunately, we know this is not on our time, but God's.

    Sending prayers and hugs your way!!!

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  4. Can you wait and see what the U/S looks like next week before you decide? I know these sudden forks in the road pop up unexpectedly and they can be really hard to deal with. I think you've got a good outlook and I think God will help you make the right decision. Thinking of you.

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  5. Like the PP said, I am sure God will lead you in the direction He feels is the right path for you. As for what I would do---I am an ALL IN KINDA GAL!!! Go for the gusto!!! Miracles happen everyday and I am sure there is one or maybe two in store for you!!!
    Good Luck---of course I will keep you in my daily prayers!!!

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  6. I'm glad I checked in.. I'll be praying. this is moving really fast!

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  7. I'm praying for you, hoping that everything works out!

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  8. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Sounds like you have a good doctor who notices his patient's demeanor and is willing to work with you on fees. Best of luck!
    Kelly from Twin Peas

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  9. I'm dying to know what you decided, and how it turned out! Praying for you!

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  10. You're killin us sister! Hope everything went smoothly... let us know! :)

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