Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Last Pack?

Hoping and praying this will be my last pack of these for the next 10 months or so! I took the first pill last night! I am so excited! I should be getting my official "FET Schedule" this week! I am thinking I will take my last BCP around July 15 or 16.

Acupuncture is going fantastic! It is so relaxing and wonderful really! I'm still going twice a week.We are praying that God will help speed along the legal paperwork that needs to take place to get the 6 embies moved to L.A. and that it will happen quickly and smoothly. The clinic is sent all paperwork to the donors yesterday. I'm a worry wart! I know God's got this covered but I will feel so much better once they are in L.A. & even BETTER when I am there to join them!

Sunday, June 28, 2009


The doctor called this evening with GOOD NEWS! He says since my cysts give me absolutely no pain or problems we have 2 choices... Leave them alone and proceed with the transfer or right before the transfer I can endure about 3 seconds of intense pain and have them drained. I have time to think about it. The important thing is that we can MOVE FORWARD with our August transfer date-no ROAD BLOCK!

Now, the next step is just getting all the legal paper work done and getting the embies to the clinic in a TIMELY FASHION! The donor couple has to do most of this since the embies are in their name. So, my prayer for tonight is that the paper work moves forward smoothly with no snags & the donor couple is comforted as they let go. He assured me that he or his nurse would be calling me no later than Monday to give me an update on the situation.

From the very beginning of this process I have prayed that if God does not want this to happen-make it obvious! And this has been nothing more than one miracle after another! I must continue to keep my focus on HIM-the true creator of life and all will go according to HIS plan and purpose!

I have my next acupuncture on Monday-3 times next week. I'm hoping that may help decrease the cyst size also. Something else bizarre-I ALREADY FEEL PREGNANT AND I KNOW I'M NOT? No, I'm not nuts, just being honest! Until next time.....

Beautiful Uterus!

YAY! That is what my gyn said after the hysterosongram yesterday. It cramped quite a bit but I survived & it only literally took 5 minutes if that. There was one problem, actually two. There were 2 large cysts on my left ovary. The good news is, they didn't look like irregular/endometriosis type cysts, just normal cysts. They measured 5.3 cm and 3 cm.

I am waiting for a call back from my RE on what to do next. I am so thankful to God that my uterus is in great shape. I have been praying over it for a long time. It is nice to know for sure.

I've Been PUNCT!!

ACUPUNCT!! I had my first acupuncture treatment yesterday! It was really cool. Just HAD to take a pic LOL! She left the needles in for about 15 minutes. The needles were down the mid-line and around my tummy, wrists and ankles. I will go twice a week for 4 weeks and once the last 2 weeks. Just 7 weeks and I will be having my transfer!!
The donor couple had a phone consult with my Dr. on Saturday. They really liked him too and said that it went very well! Now we just need to get the embies moved from where they are to my clinic and everything should be great!

I have my saline ultrasound on Thursday. Praying that all goes perfect & I have a perfectly smooth uterus on the inside!

God is GOOD! We found our BABIES!

Remember how I told you that we put an add in for $100 at Miracles Waiting in search of possible donor embryos? Just 9 days after posting our add as an embryo recipient couple, we have been MATCHED! I just can't even believe it! This couple told us that we are the ONLY couple that they felt led to and contacted. Without going in to a lot of details, we have been in email correspondence with the donor couple for several days now. I know I have lost sleep and cannot even remotely explain God's goodness and how HIS hands are all over this match!

So, all of our plans have changed drastically! The NEDC plan and having to wait until February is OUT THE WINDOW! I will be flying to California to a clinic there to have the FET on or about August 12th. We picked this date because my hubby is on vacation during this time. We have decided that he will stay home with the kids and I will go alone to LA. I will feel much more relaxed if I know the children are home with daddy and being well taken care of. The donor couple are working with the LA clinic to get their embryos from another state to California in time. Doing all the legal paperwork etc.. needed to get everything ready!

The adoption will be essentially anonymous. The bio father is the DH in this couple and and egg donor was used. There are 6 blasts total. I know this is a very difficult decision for all involved and God has handled it well for all of us. Basically, I don't know anything but their first names and email address so they still want to be in contact and know how they can pray for us as we go through this amazingly beautiful process! Our prayer is that they will one day want to be open with us totally and I know that our God is big and can do anything!

I have already had my phone consult with the Dr. in LA and only have to do one test next week here which is a saline ultrasound just to check for polyps in the uterus-standard procedure. If I did have polyps, it would decrease the pregnancy chances by 1/2. The Drs success rate for FET is 73%.

I am also starting acupuncture on Monday. There is TONS of research proving that those who have acupuncture have a much higher pregnancy rate than those who do not. I will also be getting acupuncture in the clinic in LA right before and right after the transfer.

We are just thrilled beyond words at God's goodness and mercy on us! I have had a hard time sleeping due to excitement and nerves! We are more thrilled that our babies will be coming from a family who also loves the Lord and live their lives to please HIM!

My biggest hurdle here is having to QUIT my ONLY addiction...COFFEE! How will I survive without it? I know I will! What no more TIRAMISU Creamer? WAH!!!!

It's so hard to believe that just a few months ago, we had no idea embryo adoption even really existed and now God is leading our 2 families down this wonderful road! We thank Him tonight for our wonderful donor angels!

News.. AND it's GOOD!!!

I am very excited! We have signed up through NEDC and just found out we will have to wait AT LEAST until 2010 for our first appointment. Plus pay an additional $1500 for a home study. I will be 39 this month and just thought.."There must be another way to get pregnant before I turn 40!"

So, I have been in contact with lots of other embryo recipients and we also put our names on the list at MIRACLES WAITING. MW is a site where you pay $100 and then you put your "ad" as an embryo recipient on the site and potential donors look at your profile. I have read of SEVERAL being matched this way & it is MUCH less costly than many other programs.

But, I found an even better situation that will happen much quicker for us. It is at UCLA. We will have a phone consult with the doctor on Tuesday, June 16th. I've already faxed him ALL my medical records and my hubbys plus our insurance. Our insurance will cover the $260 phone consultation. The BEST news is that they have available embryos NOW! BETTER NEWS.....They have at least 6 available Hispanic donors. Since I am 1/2 Mexican, I really thought it would be awesome to have at least one of the donors be Hispanic. All donors are anonymous. You know all their specifics, health history etc.. but not open.

Here are the prices in case you are curious...

Phone Consultation $260 (covered by some insurance-including mine ;)

FET $2200

DONOR STD Testing (FDA required)$500

Legal contract $1100

Medications $300-400


Grand Total $4460 plus...your travel fees. VERY REASONABLE!

I will keep you updated!

FINALLY...THE Results....

After a good cry, I will share with you that my hubs had ZERO sperm after his testicular biopsy. The bad and sad news is....We WILL NEVER HAVE A BIO child of our own. The GOOD NEWS IS.. God is in control, HE knows it ALL! We praise him still. We will be moving forward with embryo adoption and are VERY EXCITED about this :) CLICK HERE to read more about it. We know now that this is God's plan for our family.

Truthfully, I was SCARED to create a bunch of embryos and then possibly not use all of them. Then we would be IN THE SAME BOAT as the other people who have created over 500,000 embryos that they are adopting out. Embryo adoption is MUCH CHEAPER $4,000-6,000 per cycle. One cycle of IVF with my old eggs and the hubs sperm would have been $12,000. God knows what he's doing. At this point we will not be sharing this with any friends or family. We just want to keep it to ourselves and will just be telling everyone that we will be going forward with IVF! Which is true!

I am keeping this blog because some day, I may want to share it with someone but right now... NOT SO MUCH. I am grieving today for the children we will never have but being adopted myself, am VERY EXCITED for the days to come.


I decided to start this anonymous blog to VENT and gain support for our new journey through infertility....while at the same time respecting my hubs wishes to keep it PRIVATE...MEN!

Heres the SCOOP on us so far... Me-late 30's, DH-40's. We have adopted some precious children. We chose adoption because we had no funds for IVF 7 years ago when we got our infertility news. WELL...things have changed and my TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

My GYN told me a few weeks ago that unless I was pregnant soon, it would be in my best interest to remove the rest of my female "parts." I had honestly lost ANY DESIRE to get pregnant many years ago. THAT IS, UNTIL SHE THREATENED TO TAKE IT AWAY. The thought of losing any chance of every having a baby with my DH whom I adore was devastating.
We have MANY things stacked against us...

  • DH-zero sperm count azoospermia
  • I have only 1 ovary
  • Our age

But we have one BIG THING in our favor.....JESUS!

So, let me tell you where we started. We knew 7 years ago when we saw our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) right after we were married that I had blocked tubes from endo and then quickly found out DH had zero sperm SO. We knew where to start this time.

He saw a urologist last week , did another semen analysis which again resulted in zero. He then had FSH lab drawn which came back normal just yesterday. If the FSH is HIGH, this indicates a 95% chance that no sperm is being produced. If it's normal, there is a good chance the Urologist can extract some by doing a testicular biopsy. He will have this procedure done next Tuesday-HAPPY CINCO de MAYO honey! He even asked me to ask the nurse if he could ride his HARLEY to and from the procedure-GET REAL PEEPS! I am on BCP's to regulate my cycle and just waiting DH's results to move on to the next step in this journey.

So, we are praying for sperm at this point and also IVF & considering possible EA (embryo adoption) as an option. Any feedback, prayers, POSITIVE IVF stories or anything else to lift my spirits would be SO APPRECIATED!