Due Dates...1st Shot!

Well-here it is... the shot I just gave myself. Delestrogen .2 with a 22 gauge 1 1/2 inch needle. I have no problem giving them to myself, in fact I prefer it. The sheer terror on DH's face and his shaking hand made me RUN like the wind and give it to myself. After you do it once, it's no biggie. PLUS, it feels good to be doing "SOMETHING" for my little embies AND to get this pregnancy party started that I can do myself! GROW LINING GROW! It helps to rub the area after so it won't be sore. I rub it whenever I think of it and it helps calm the burn tremendously. I psychotically looked up my due dates again HERE. It is a GREAT site for telling you how the baby is developing, when each trimester starts etc for 3 or 5 day FET's or IVF pregnancies.

So here are my big days with a 5 day FET of October 22nd.

SINGLETON Due Date: July 10, 2010
TWINS Due Date: June 18, 2010 (prefer this :)

And it says that my 2nd trimester will begin December 22nd so it would be PERFECT to tell our family at Christmas time!

Just 23 days and Mommy will be there guys!

Mis UNDA stood!

Just got a call from my nurse. Apparently I misunderstood the size of this so-called cyst. THANK GOD! It was only 13x15mm and in her words "ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM-WE ARE GOOD TO GO for our October 22nd transfer." She said it was just left over cyst from my period and things look PERFECT! WHEW! All that FREAK OUT for NOTHING!

Here's the schedule:

September 25-Last BCP
September 29 & October 2-.2 delestrogen
October 5-u/s lab
October 6 & 9-delestrogen
October 12-u/s lab
October 13 & 16-delestrogen
October 17-add progesterone injection
October 22-TRANSFER DAY!!

Today I am humbled by the entire process of this embryo adoption. I am PRAISING MY MAKER and apologizing to him for doubting his grace, goodness and desire to give these little embryos a home. I will trust you from here on out, I promise.

Problem..

I had my baseline u/s yesterday. The uterus looked perfect but there was a cyst in my ovary. 13cm by 15cm. I am praying it away. The tech told me it was there but says it may resolve. I will anxiously await my Dr's phone call today to report on that an my estradiol level.

For heaven's sakes. All I have left is one ovary and my uterus-the rest is history and I HAVE TO HAVE A PROBLEM! Why me?

I am off to have a massage and adjustment by my chiropractor-hopefully it will chill me out!

PLEASE LORD, I have so much riding on this. Plane tickets are purchased, all is ready and set. Sorry I'm angry, I know it is all in your timing. Please let this cycle work & make that dumb cyst go away.

The Best??

SUPPOSEDLY-these are some of the best tests you can buy. I am on another board and all the moms swear by these DOLLAR TREE PREGNANCY tests. I was near a Dollar Tree last week so I thought "what the heck" and bought some. For $1-you can't beat it! I will be POAS! Something tells me with my OCD behavior I may need more that 3 :) I also bought myself something else that I am thinking may have "jinxed" me. I bought a $2 black Gap maternity shirt size XL at a garage sale. I figure if I'm having twins, size XL will be perfect but I am thinking that was a "bad move" and may send it to my friend Jen instead. Jen who actually IS pregnant and me, well....I'm not yet but there's nothing wrong with thinking positive right?

I am having my baseline u/s and estradiol tomorrow at 1:30pm-time to get this party started again! I take my last BCP Thursday and then I will wait for this FET cycle to begin and before I know it, I will be meeting my two sweet baby embryos for the first time! Exciting yet very intense and scary at the same time!

Lord-lets face it, you know I am a NERVOUS WRECK OVER HERE! I need you to calm my nerves (as usual). This whole process is REALLY happening and I can feel the tension in my entire being. Please help my stress to be minimal and my tension to ease. With just 30 days to go (but who's counting?) I am just praying for the strength and serenity I need to be a good mommy to the kids I already have and the sweet ones that await me. And please help me not to drive my DH completely crazy. AMEN

BLOTATION & FET final date.

This picture describes how my legs, arms and belly have felt for a couple of weeks..I had my follow up today from my surgery with my GYN. She said everything looks "great." I have my baseline sono and estradiol scheduled for September 23rd. I will take my last BCP September 24-nothing like having 2 visits from AF in one month. She said my "EDEMA" aka all over body SWOLLENNESS is normal for all the hormones my body is trying to adjust to. I told her I exercise, don't drink caffeine and drink water all day long and she said "after you deliver your baby, it will go away." The Provera I was on she said probably made it worse. I have gained 6 pounds in water since my last visit and I can feel the tightness of my skin. She said the swelling was not enough to be concerned about. She also said that she would be praying-I encouraged her to PRAY FOR TWINS as I want both of my babies to survive. She is very excited about this as I am her first patient ever to go through an embryo adoption! CUTTING EDGE BABY!

I bought 1 pair of bigger jeans today after my appointment and they feel good!

The RE nurse from CA called me right after my appointment on my cell to say that my doctor would make sure I had my acupuncture and transfer on the 22nd WITHOUT RUSHING ME. I told her I felt rushed and am now trying to EMBRACE God's new plan. So this is how it will roll.....

My plane lands in L.A. at 9:40am October 22-take valium once in car
(i like that part)

Acupuncture 11am

Transfer 12pm

Acupuncture 12:30pm

1:15pm-OFF TO THE BEACH for 2 days of R & R

Heading home October 24th.

Lord, I really want to feel positive about this schedule change & I haven't really been-sorry. I'm trying to embrace it. I am now getting more excited every minute to meet my 2 little ones. PLEASE LORD, keep them safe until I get there and prepare my body to be "just perfect" for the 2 little ones created by you to grow, nuzzle in and become 2 beautiful babies I can one day hold in my arms & love! Thanks for all you've gotten us through so far! I promise to dedicate these 2 little ones to you and raise them to know the truth about you. I also promise to tell others about embryo adoption and the miracle of it all.
AMEN

RE Disorganization!

Got a call at 8pm last night from my RE nurse. She wanted to know if AF came and let me know what my next steps will be. I started BCP's on Monday CD2 and will continue taking them until Sept. 24. I will have my sono and estradiol checked on the 24th too. Then she said "Well, I'll fax the orders over! Looks like we are ALL SET for October 20th."

I got a call at 8:14 with some news that REALLY TICKED ME OFF! It was her again. She said this......"The doctor just informed me that he will be at a conference the days you were going to be here. We can transfer the 22nd if you want." (the day I was flying home) WHAT ON EARTH?? I sent both her and the doctor the email with my dates and they said it was "ALL GOOD!" I had airline, hotel reservations, acupuncturist coming, a friend going with me who took off work and a friend in L.A. to pick us up from the airport! Not to mention my daughters birthday party was SUPPOSE TO BE the 23rd.

She didn't act too helpful at all basically saying that is just the way it goes & blamed it on him. So I scrambled last night to change my reservations EVERYWHERE. I will most likely be getting my FET the 22nd. I will fly in the a.m. of the 22nd and fly out the 24th-a much quicker trip than I wanted BUT to change it for an extra day was going to cost me and my friend $200.

Does anyone else feel their RE's office is somewhat DISORGANIZED?

I know God has a plan here but it is still upsetting to have to make all these changes.

I MUST KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!

(but I'm not happy about it)

Red Dot SPECIAL! "King of Pain"

Remember that old song "KING OF PAIN" by The Police? Goes like this...(UHHUM *clears throat*)

"There's a little black spot on the sun today....It's the same old thing as yesterday."

When I was in my young teens and a real DWEEB I'm sure, we used to sing it like this

"There's a little brown spot in my underwear...It's the same old stain as yesterday."

I know, I'm weird and silly but for some reason that crazy song came back tonight when I was getting up from bed to use the bathroom. I GOT THAT STAIN but it's a little RED DOT! A little sign from God that my body is back on track doing what it is suppose to! And raring to get going for this cycle I am!!

So, I had to get up after I was already in bed to post this because I felt I had to or I wouldn't be able to sleep. I fear I will still toss and turn at the vast possibilities of my future embryos, baby names, how I will look pregnant, when I will tell our family-THERE'S SO MUCH ON THIS TWISTED IF ROAD That can literally "make you twisted" isn't there?

One minute I'm thrilled, excited and JUST KNOW I will be pregnant. I know it will work and I am confident that our plan to pass the other 4 embies on to my friend "A" will work out perfectly.

The next minute I'm filled with FEAR. Fear of the unknown, fear of it not working. Fear of failing the donor couple if it doesn't work. The fear that I or my DH may not want to go through this a second time if it doesn't.

That little red dot has meant that this is now FOR REAL, it's time to move forward and in 45 days my 2 sweet baby's will be inside me. It's so surreal.

And so this is the time where scriptures I have memorized come bursting forth in my brain and give me comfort. The first one is my absolute favorite!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:19

Embryo Glue-Have You Used It?

I just found out about embryo glue THIS MORNING and by GEORGE I will be asking my doctor some detailed questions about this before my upcoming FET. Another gal on a board I am a member of said her Dr. charged $200 for it. I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to help my baby embies survive! Heres a bit about it...

Dr. Andrew Weston, Follas embryologist and lab director, is pleased to offer our patients a new product to help increase the likelihood of embryo implantation. Embryo Glue, a protein solution manufactured by Vitrolife, closely resembles the environment in the uterus at the time of implantation. It is not glue in the true sense, but acts as a bridge between the embryo and the uterus. The hyaluronan in Embryo Glue improves the communication between the embryo and the uterine wall to minimize embryo drifting after transfer. Early studies indicate that Embryo Glue may improve the implantation rate up to 34%! Dr. McLaughlin may recommend this option to you to enhance the likelihood that you will conceive!

Any of you ever heard of or used this??