Good News...Bad News...Still Praising HIM!

I am VERY CORNFUSED right now. But still very at peace that Jesus has me & my babies in his palm.

My appointment was uneventful today (or so I thought). The US tech RAVED about my "UTERINE PERFECTION" as I had my cd10 US. My lining was 9mm-& trilaminar-right where they want it! I also had my estradiol drawn but won't get results until tomorrow and then they will adjust my delestrogen dose. I also had my pap while I was there. It all went really smooth & I THOUGHT I was right on track for my transfer in 2 weeks.

AT 6:30pm my phone rang and it was the nurse telling me that my Dr. wanted me to call him at home tonight after 10:30pm to discuss the US results. I asked her if it was regarding the possible left hydrosalpinx near my left ovary. (which the sono tech said was "NO BIG DEAL") and she said "yes". CRAP!!!

I promptly called him at 10:40pm and he said that IF I do have a hydrosalpinx, then my chances of pregnancy decrease by 50%. He gave me 2 options....

1. He told me the "optimal" solution would be to STOP MY CYCLE RIGHT NOW and have surgery to remove my tube. BUT, it would cancel everything I've been doing (acupuncture, doctor appointments, arranging around my husband & 6 kids schedules)
2. OR He can drain the tube transvaginally the day before my procedure. Which WOULD NOT cancel my cycle. He said that he has had patients get pregnant both ways.

He also said it may truly not even be a hydrosalpinx since it has never been seen on any previous ultrasounds. He also said it could go away by my US next week. I asked him what he would do if it were his wife. He said "you have SO MUCH invested here with your husband & childrens work schedules & you have such a positive outlook and way about you, I would just go for it. Sometimes in life you have to take chances." Then he said He also said "if you don't get pregnant, I will work with you on ANY FEES for doing a second transfer." HERE IS A GOOD ARTICLE ON HYDROSALPINX.

These DARN ovaries and tubes have been NOTHING BUT TROUBLE FOR ME since I had my oldest with all my endometriosis, pain etc. I can't WAIT to get these out after I deliver my babies!

I believe JESUS IS THE ULTIMATE PHYSICIAN and HE WILL MAKE THIS GO AWAY before my babies get there. Remember just a few weeks ago on my first sono, I had 2 large cysts-1-5cm, 1-3cm. I prayed over my belly and those cysts several times daily and those babies were gone by my next US!

My DH was asleep when I called so I haven't shared the news with him yet. I will be doing some serious praying over my left side and I know MY GOD will make this work out. My thought right now is, If it is still there next week right before I go to CA, I may cancel then but I need to pray until then& wouldn't mind it if you all prayed along with me.

I know one thing...I DO NOT WANT TO PUT MY EMBIES in any danger of being lost & me being the cause. I am at peace with everything right now. I'm not scared but I don't know 100% what to do. TIME TO GET ON MY KNEES and talk to THE BIG GUY. What would YOU DO?

Lord, What am I to do? Please ease any anxieties or fears I may have. I will seek your calm and wisdom here. Help me not to make a selfish, rash decision but to look to you for all the answers. You have opened SO MANY DOORS along this journey. I just find it hard to believe that this closes the door. Lord, you know how much planning and logisitcs this has taken for our family to make this happen. If you want to shut this cycle down Lord, make it clear to us. No matter which doors open or close, I promise one thing, to be FAITHFUL TO YOU and PRAISE YOU no matter what. Help me to live my life to serve you. AMEN

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

Embies Safe....Me, Lost!

I just got the call...Our 6 sweet adopted embryos are safe and sound in California! Their last stop before I meet them! The donor father has to do one more California required blood test called HTLV and then we will be set!

I have been feeling SO LOST! Like I should be doing "something MORE" to get ready for the transfer. I don't do anything until tomorrow when I give myself my next estrogen shot. Then I go back Tuesday for my next U/S, pap, cultures and blood work. GROW LINING GROW!

When she took my blood on Tuesday, it didn't hurt at all! Bizarre I have this crazy purple bruise. When I look at it, it reminds me that this is REALLY HAPPENING LOL! Proof that I'm moving forward though it seems SO SLOW! My kids keep saying "what's that mommy, what's wrong with your arm?"

Hope you all have a blessed and fabulous weekend!

Parenting Magazine-"Fate of Frozen Embryos"

Click here to read an interesting article in Parenting Magazine about "The Fate of Frozen Embryos." Although I don't agree with all of it, I'm glad the fate of these little lives is "getting out there." It doesn't mention embryo adoption but embryo donation.This quote from the article REALLY made me think of just how precious these frozen babies are..

"I don't think anybody knows what their opinion is until they're in this situation," says Ginny Scott of Austin, TX. She had one embryo left after giving birth to her children, now 7 and 6. After two years of deliberating possibilities that never seemed right, she and her husband decided to use it to have another baby—her now 3-year-old daughter. One unused embryo, she says, "changed my whole life." She's thankful for her daughter, but also thankful she had only one embryo remaining.

JUST JAB...It's for the BABIES!

Well, my estrogen lab result FINALLY came back at 3:30pm-UGH!!!!! And, I am pleased to say that my estrogen was below 7-YIPPEEE!

So, I put a movie in for the kids, headed to my bathroom, locked the door and tried to talk myself into giving my 0.2ml of Delestrogen for about 20 minutes before I succeeded. I put on my BIG GIRL PANTIES and finally shoved it in. I started out standing, then laying and finally sitting on my vanity chair praying to God all the while that I could do it. He finally gave me the strength to PRESS ON! It wasn't bad at all! I think it will get easier every time! AND, my DH will be here on Sunday and will be off work until September 1st so I only have one more shot to give myself Saturday night and then he will take over! Supposedly estrogen makes you cheery. Anyone else heard that? How can I get any cheerier? YEE HAW!

It's been a good day! Good lab results, good shot experience and my babies are flying as we speak to their last destination before my uterus!! WOO HOO!

Only God could orchestrate all this amazingness! I am praising Him today!

"I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!" Deuteronomy 32:3

The Good, The Bad and The Disgusting!

THE DISGUSTING
Where do I even begin on this post. I am STRESSED TO THE HILT! AF started RIGHT ON TIME on Saturday night. THAT PSYCHO CAME ON WITH A VENGEANCE! I have had the heaviest, most bloated uncomfortable period in my 39 years. Last night I went in and sat on the pot and heard a big "PLOP." I know this is graphic but I must have this on my blog "FOR THE RECORD." A golf ball size solid clot-I WAS SO SCARED! I called my RE nurse cell phone and she simply said "that's normal after being on BCP's so long." Why do I always feel calmer just hearing her voice? She said if it happened again last night to call back. It didn't and I had a RESTLESS night sleep.

THE GOOD
I was able to shower before my little ones awoke AND my babysitter was on time. My GYN's office is 1 hour away. I prayed over my belly all the way there that those 2 cysts would be gone. I arrived for my Estrogen level blood draw and my ultrasound. My 2 large cysts WERE GONE! Thank you LORD! AND as I was leaving the clinic the cryo bank in TX called to tell me that my 6 baby embies will be shipping out tomorrow to CA! They will be safely in CA by Thursday. I asked all the typical mommy questions. "Will they be safe on their flight?" "What are the chances of them thawing or getting lost." and MUCH more. I was reassured that they will be safe in their canisters and even if they get lost, they will stay frozen inside for 10 days. WHEW!

THE BAD
As I was on my way home, my RE's office called. She said "I got your ultrasound but not your lab. Do you know where the estrogen level is?" So, I called my GYN's office and they said "Yes, we ran it STAT but STAT to us means TOMORROW MORNING." WHAT THE???? Yes, that's right people, when you live in THE STICKS there is no lab that is run STAT anywhere close. In order to get STAT lab, I would have to drive about 3 hours-AIN'T HAPPENIN PEEPS. SO, then the RE nurse calls me back & says this "Well, they found an 18mm cyst OR follicle on your left ovary so until I get your lab back so we know for sure that the follicle or cyst is not producing estrogen, you are on hold with your estrogen shot for tonight." DOUBLE UGH!! AND then she said THIS "and if it IS producing estrogen....YOUR TRANSFER WILL NOT HAPPEN THIS CYCLE." That is about when I PANICKED! So, now I must wait until tomorrow morning to see if I am an estrogen mess or not. My friend Jen & my GYN's nurse have both convinced me that there is most likely NO WAY it is an active follicle since I have been on continuous BCP's for months and am only on CD4 of my first period in 3 months. They are both convinced it is one of my shrunken up cysts and for tonight, I am choosing to believe right along with them. I will admit, I thought about taking one of those Valium I was prescribed as I am SO KEYED UP. Thankfully I have chilled out now.

Dear Lord, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let my estrogen be high. Please let it just be a normal old boring low number. I pray for your comforting arms to surround me tonight so I can sleep soundly. I pray that I will not have to wait to long in the morning for my results and if I do, that you give me the patience I need to not be a grumpy waiter. Thank you for all the blessings in my life. Please watch over my 6 embies & keep them snuggled in and safe as they make their journey 1/2 way home tomorrow. AMEN

DOPE!

The FED EX guy probably had NO IDEA how excited I was to "GET MY DRUGS!"

The box included:

• A BOATLOAD of needles, syringes, alcohol swabs & gauze
• Delestrogen 20 mg for injection
• 5 tabs of 10 mg Valium
• 5 tabs of 16 mg Prednisone
• 10 tabs of 100 mg Doxycycline
• 4 bottles of Prog in oil for injection

The needles are all 1 1/2 inch needles. Hmmm. My DH will be gone for my first few injections so it's time to BUCK UP & give them to myself. Thank the good Lord I've given thousands of shots and drawn a lot of blood in my life so I have some clue what I'm doing. And even if I didn't, to get my babies home.... I would do ANYTHING!

$94.50

The grand total for all meds NOT paid by our insurance for our upcoming FET cycle. Not bad EH?

SWEEEEEEEET.....

They will be here tomorrow! Last BCP "officially" down the hatch!