Sick and DEVASTATED....

We signed the legal paperwork and our 3 embies became our friends embies on the 21st.

This morning came a HUGE BLOW...In  my email inbox, the original donor couple who signed all rights over to my DH & I sent an email saying they really wanted their 3 embies back. SAY WHAT??? After falling in love with their sweet 2 month old daughter (sibling to my daughter) they re evaluated wanting to have another baby.

They are not legally ours any more. These embryos have no legal connection to us any more. After explaining this to them, they asked that I be a go-between to them and the other couple to get their embies back. TOO STRESSFUL FOR PREGNANT MAMA!

And guess what?  My friend & her husband ARE GIVING THEM BACK.  WHY you ask, because it is the right thing to do. Because they could not live with theirselves knowing that they kept these embies from their biological father (egg donor was used). GIVING BACK THE BABIES THAT ARE LEGALLY THEIRS. Because that's what Jesus would want them to do.

I am devastated on many levels. I am sore & sick to my stomach over it.  I am devastated that my child will not grow up with my friends child. I am devastated for my friend. I am devastated because I am a pregnant emotional WRECK! I've bawled all day.

I told the donor couple that in my condition I cannot be the go between & that they will have to contact my attorney who is also my friends attorney.  Lord help us.

AND THIS is some of the heartache that goes along with embryo adoption.....Rough day...

I am just venting here. this is my blog to vent on. I don't want any negativity please....

HERE --------- IS!!!!

A SWEET BABY GIRL!!!

This is the view from the bottom up right between her legs and there's NOTHING THERE!
Aren't her legs, feet and hiney ADORABLE!

Here is her sweet face, belly and arm...

I HAD to head STRAIGHT to Baby Gap and get her SOMETHING PINK!

LOVED this little dress with bloomers!

And a few more things she just HAD TO HAVE!

PRAISING GOD TODAY for his faithfullness, and goodness to our family!

WE ARE BLESSED!!!

16 WEEKS!!

16 weeks today! YIPPEE! ENTERING my 5th month-WOW!

I know by looking at the pictures that my belly is getting bigger but I feel bigger EVERYWHERE but the belly LOL. I just feel huge! I have decided to wear the same shirt and jeans in all the belly shot pics until I can't fit into them any more. It makes it easier to see the progression I think. Feeling....I'm feeling pretty darn good. I haven't puked in over a week-yippee! I have some heartburn-it comes and goes. My blood pressure has been normal thanks to meds-yay! I go to the Dr. Monday for a visit & sono and a repeat of my 24 hour urine test. I think ALL 7 kids will be able to make it to the sonogram-Should I call ahead and warn the tech? We will hopefully be able to see if we need to buy pink or blue! ANY GUESSES on the gender??????

Fears...I fear that since I feel so well, the baby is not okay. I don't think the fear of this baby being okay will leave until he/she is safe in my arms. I haven't felt terrible sick for a couple weeks & I KNOW this is normal but the fear is still there. Just being honest....

Movement...My oldest came by for a visit last night and I THINK I felt "something" on my right side while I was standing there talking to her. Like a "wave" in my belly. Was it the babe??????

Cravings...Wild Cherry Pepsi a day and it gives me some much needed "pep" during the afternoon while homeschooling the big kids as the little ones nap. TWIZZLERS, ANY Potatoes, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with PICKLES-not ON the sandwich...bite of grilled cheese, bite of pickle and so on. I still have not resumed any desire for chocolate which is SO NOT ME!

Until Monday....

Belly Pics...

APPARENTLY, I am starting a new trend among the 4 year old girls in my house (MINUS THE UNDERWEAR ON THE HEAD). I only do that when I'm REALLY WILD!

HI...LARIOUS!!! My Mini-ME
If they think I'm big at 15w4d-OH MY!!!

Our Remaining Embies-A GOOD DAY!

I am VERY EXCITED to say that we will be passing our 3 remaining precious blasts off to a WONDERFUL COUPLE!

We got the adoption agreement from our attorney today! We are very excited to sign it, get it to our clinic in L.A. and get her on her way to pregnancy!

Praying that she will have a February or March transfer! Which means that our kids would just be months apart! Our original donor couple had their baby in November so our baby will be 8 months younger than that baby! WHAT A MIRACLE!

To our recipient couple-WE LOVE YOU and are THRILLED for you!

As far as I go, I am feeling MUCH less nauseous! I am SO EXCITED about our sonogram on Monday! I feel kind of in "limbo" and like I haven't been to the doctor in forever! It's like if I don't hear the heart beat or feel anything... AM I STILL PREGNANT? I know, I'm a worry wart but I don't know if I will feel complete ease & comfort until this sweet one is in my arms safely.

13 WEEKS!!!

I feel so blessed to be 13 weeks already!

I have been on the blood pressure medicine for 6 days now & it is working. The only side effect is DROWSINESS! UGH! I don't like not having energy and feeling like a "LUMP".

I saw my Dr. on Thursday. She showed me my lab. I am "leaking" protein into my urine but my kidneys are okay & still doing their job which is good. She is considering me to have chronic hypertension. I am high risk & will have more Dr. visits and monthly sonograms to make sure baby is okay. WHICH MEANS in just 22 days we have our next sono and will most likely know if we are having a boy or girl! HOW EXCITING! The baby measured perfect and the heart beat was 156!

My doctor is still shooting for my July 10 due date BUT...My risk for pre-eclampsia is high and if I do have high blood pressure later, the baby will come early. I am so thankful to be on the medicine & that it is helping.

Thank you Lord for getting us this far, for loving us, protecting us & for the miracle of this sweet baby.