Womb for 1 more.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS and 6 months!

2010-12-25T14:22:00.002-06:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS from our family to yours!

I don't post here very often but WOULD LOVE for you to follow our family blog if you are interested!

Blakely turned 6 months on the 14th-HARD TO BELIEVE!

Her shirt says "best gift ever."

It's true, she's been a MIRACLE for our family!

God Bless you ALL on your journeys!

I am so blessed to follow along your journeys & call you friends!

5 Months TODAY!

2010-11-14T19:44:00.000-06:00

I LOVE books!

Mommy thinks I'm smart but I REALLY DO understand them!

I just found my thumb, its pretty good...

I am still just nursing-that milk is GOOD STUFF. They don't call it LIQUID GOLD for NOTHIN!Mommy sometimes gives me a little nibble of her food too!

I even got to lick a sucker today after church!

Mommy says I'm "rollin' all over tarnation!"

I LOVE my cloth diapers-super soft on my hiney!

I REALLY HATE NAPPING during the day but I sleep really good at night for mommy.

Most importantly, I am still LOVED AND ADORED by all of my 7 brothers and sisters. I hear them fighting over who gets to hold me LOTS of times a day.

Mommy says I am a Gift from GOD ALMIGHTY and I hear my family from my 3 year old brother all the way up to Daddy thank God for me in their prayers constantly.

Daddy says I will get anything I want, whenever I want when I get bigger.

Sounds good to me!

ONE Year AGO TODAY!

2010-10-22T09:15:00.001-05:00

I had a hard time sleeping last night just thinking of the miracle performed 1 year ago today.

Twas one year ago today that I was on an airplane to Los Angeles to meet Baby Blakely...
One of the below pictures is our sweet angel exactly one year ago today.

One is of her sibling resting in heaven.

And here she is today!

Is she a miracle or WHAT?

I still have a hard time comprehending God's miracles and goodness especially when it comes to this sweet adopted girl. IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST! The preparation, pregnancy and birth and now she's a big 4 month old girl already.

Thank you Lord for the gift of Baby Blakely, for seeing us fit to be her parents, for allowing us to experience the miracle of pregnancy & child birth. For the donating parents who chose us. For the most wonderful doctor. For allowing us to spread the word about embryo adoption. Thank you for knitting her together in my womb. YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL!

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY MADE; your works are WONDERFUL, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. ALL the days ordained for me were written in your book BEFORE ONE OF THEM CAME TO BE!"
Psalm 139:13-16

4 Months old TODAY!

2010-10-14T14:32:00.000-05:00

PRAISING GOD TODAY for 4 months with this sweet baby girl!!!!

SHE'S BACK..EW

2010-09-14T10:50:00.000-05:00

Aunt FLO that is! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What happened to "YOUR PERIOD WON'T START UNTIL YOU ARE DONE NURSING?"

Any other UNLUCKY souls have this happen? EWW!!!! I'm just not ready......

I am REALLY, SERIOUSLY fighting the baby weight also.

It is SO HARD to lose.

I have been put on water pills to decrease the swelling I still have in my hands and feet.

It's brutal.

BUT looking at that sweet smile above makes it ALL WORTH IT!

3rd PREGNANCY in 2 weeks!

2010-08-31T11:01:00.002-05:00

I'm SO EXCITED!!!

I have given Dr. Kumar's name to 9 people now. Another IRL friend of mine from Kansas just emailed me last night to tell me of her 2nd positive beta!

In the last 2 weeks 3 PEOPLE journeyed to California for their embryo transfers and ALL 3 ARE PREGNANT! Joining the ranks of my other friend A-who is pregnant with twin boys! A, is the person we legally donated our embies to until our donating family requested them back.

AND another friend just got matched with THE EXACT embryos perfect for her family through Dr. Kumars clinic!

CONGRATS TO YOU ALL! I am SO HAPPY for YOU!

Thank you Lord for all you are doing to help these babies join their new families!

It is ONLY THROUGH GOD that these little miracles are being unfrozen!

"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift(s)!" 2 Corinthians 9:15

YOU GROW GIRL! 2 Months! & Blog change

2010-08-23T21:19:00.000-05:00

Here's our little "BLAKERS" at 2 months!

I am a week late-SORRY!

Check out those painted TOOTSIES!

She has changed SO MUCH & is really starting to smile!

She slept 7 hours last night-BOY WERE MY BOOBS SORE AFTER THAT!

I had to get up and feed her AND pump!

OUR FAMILY BLOG has a new address so if you have been looking for it,

HERE IS THE NEW LINK!

My friend-another precious embryo DONOR!

2010-08-16T09:23:00.000-05:00

I promised God that if I ever got pregnant, I would spread the word about Embryo Adoption. Through my larger family blog which has over 250 regular readers, I shared our family story.

One of my regular readers who I became friends with had been grappeling with a decision. You see, her precious husband Ryan and her conceived twins through IVF. He suffered from cystic fibrosis and passed away when the twins were young.

She had left over embryos...

After reading our blog, she knew just what to do...

CLICK HERE to read her amazing, selfless story..

ONLY GOD could have orchestrated this story!

Praising HIM for saving more frozen lives!

7 weeks!

2010-08-06T16:05:00.000-05:00

Here is our Precious one at 7 weeks!

She is REALLY starting to smile!

I'm so in love with her...

I love bows but I also love her beautiful hair so I had to show it off :)

Thank you Lord for our precious ANGEL!

Nursing is still going GREAT and she's growing like a weed!

She's been a QUITE colicky so I am trying GRIPE WATER today hopefully this will help.

I'll let you know!

2 Jens and 14 kids MERGE!!!

2010-08-02T17:22:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow... This family of 7 kids

and this family of 7 kids...

Will be meeting under ONE ROOF at OUR FARM!

My bloggy friend Jen and I will be meeting IN PERSON for the first time as she and her 7 join me and my 7 at the farm for a few days!

14 YUNG UNS ages 12 and under UNDER ONE ROOF!

We are SO EXCITED for our kids to meet ESPECIALLY our 3 girls we were blessed with through embryo adoption!

YES, WE ARE NUTS!

Will report later IF we live through it :)

WE CAN'T WAIT to share pictures with you!

Gained :)

2010-07-17T13:00:00.000-05:00

Went to the Dr. yesterday.

She gained 15 ounces in 10 days!

Here she is at her appointment!

7 pounds 2 ounces.

YOU GROW GIRL!

ONE MONTH OLD!

2010-07-15T09:20:00.002-05:00

HAPPY ONE MONTH to OUR MIRACLE GIRL!

We celebrated her one month B-day yesterday by taking her to the pool in her darling swim suit!

Nursing is going fabulous! It is just VERY time consuming! She is just SO ADORABLE! Most of my time is spent taking care of my 7 little ones so my time for blogging is RARE!

Hugs to you all!

3 week check up! Dairy QUEEN!

2010-07-07T16:17:00.000-05:00

THE DAIRY QUEEN IS WORKING!

(THAT'S ME PEOPLE!!)

I was nervous as I took our little sweetie to the Dr. on Tuesday for her weight check.

With exclusively nursing, you just don't know HOW MUCH food they are actually getting and it can make a mama second guess herself!

The Dr. wanted her to gain 5-7 ounces

SHE GAINED 10 ounces!

She is up to 6lbs. 5 ounces now! BIG GIRL!

Praising the Lord for letting me follow my dreams of nursing my sweetie!

Here she is today just chillin!

2 WEEKS!

2010-06-29T18:40:00.000-05:00

As you can see, Blakely is VERY HAPPY to be here with her family!

She is 2 weeks today! We went to the Dr. this a.m. and she now weighs 5lb 12oz.

The Dr. thinks she is doing great and is hoping she gains 6oz in the next week.

Nursing is going great!

She is a precious gift from GOD!

I cannot believe she is here!

Just HAD to share her preciousness with you all!

She's HERE! 8 days old!

2010-06-23T15:31:00.000-05:00

It all started at my routine appointment last Monday-June 14th

My BP was up so my Dr. said-"We need to deliver."

It all happened SO FAST!

I had a c-section which was NOT bad at all.

I went to the hospital, got into my gown and next thing I knew...

I was holding

Miss Blakely Laurel

in my arms!

She was born at 36 weeks 2 days

at 4:46 pm

on June 14th

5lb. 15oz.

18 inches long

Here she is with daddy!

We've had a rough road. We just got home from the hospital today.

I forgot my password to my blog so I couldn't update it while I was in the hospital with her but I was DYING TO!

I promise you all I will "get back in the swing." soon and catch up on all your blogs!

She came home today HEALTHY and I am exclusively nursing-it's going GREAT!

Here she is in her car seat, yawning all bundled up to come home today!

GIVING GOD ALL THE PRAISE FOR THIS MIRACULOUS LITTLE GIRL!

34 Weeks and COUNTING!

2010-05-28T21:38:00.000-05:00

I am SO THANKFUL to have made it to 34 weeks!

I FEEL HUGE!

My twin-boobs and all at 34 weeks :)

I see my Dr. weekly now. My latest 24 hour urine last week wasn't the best. My protein went up from 170 to around 500. My Dr. says that she expects it to rise as the stress on my body from baby gets worse. I do my next one on Tuesday. I had an NST (non stress test) yesterday and the baby looked great. I was having a few small contractions according to the strip but didn't feel a thing.

Baby is still breech. She weighed 4lb 5 ozs over a week ago so she's getting bigger and the good news is AFTER 34 weeks I can deliver at MY hospital-no special trips to THE BIG CITY needed-WHEW! Thank you Lord for getting us this far!

My church is continuing to provide meals while my DH is working-SUCH A BLESSING!

I basically lay around ALL DAY LONG and feel like doing nothing more at this point. Bed rest STINKS PEOPLE! But its worth it!

The pressure is making MY CROTCH THROB LIKE MAD unless I am lying down UGH! That is really my only complaint.

Hard to believe-I will be meeting my precious miracle girl soon-GOD IS GOOD!

32 WEEKS!

2010-05-15T11:25:00.001-05:00

HERE I AM Today at 32 Weeks!

YOWZA I weigh a lot!

I've been SO LAZY and tired lately. I am thankful I am on bed rest because honestly, I don't feel like I can do much more than lay around, eat and shower LOL. I'm even too exhausted to blog much-UGH!

Monday-I had a stabbing pain in the left side of my abdomen for several hours that would not go away. My doctor wanted to check it out so I went to L & D and got monitored.

DIAGNOSIS....Strained tummy muscle. This can happen as your belly grows especially if you don't get around much-like me.

The good news is, my cervix is closed and thick, I was having ZERO contractions and Baby Girl looked FABULOUS on the monitor-glad my mind was put to ease. The pain is completely gone now.

Here I am at the hospital in one of my HOT gowns :)

The Saturday before, My hubby asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and truly, I wanted a pedicure and Olive Garden.

He dropped me off at the door of the nail salon and this is what I got-LOVE MY TOES!

Then all 8 of us went to Olive Garden. I kept my tootsies up all the way there and back.

My Dr. appointment a couple weeks ago went well, my amniotic fluid was up from 12 to 15!

I have my next appointment on May 20. They will measure baby then and I will also have my next 24 hour urine that day.

God has granted me the grace of making it this far, I just pray I can keep her inside and she will keep growing for several more weeks!

The crazy thing is...

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE I AM PREGNANT and it's almost over...

It is such a surreal experience.

30 WEEKS! Photo Shoot!

2010-05-01T11:12:00.000-05:00

HAPPY 30th Week baby girl!

I've always DREAMED of a fancy maternity shoot but

Since I am HOME BOUND on bed rest,

My good friend offered to help me out and I decided we would give it a whirl yesterday.

NEITHER OF US IS A PROFESSIONAL!

Just 2 moms-having fun!

I was SO HAPPY with the way they turned out!

Here are some of our favorites!

WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE THE BEST??

I also got the changing table delivered and since there were only 3 steps, the kids and I put it together very quickly!

I LOVE IT!

I see the Dr. on Tuesday and I can't wait to see how my amniotic fluid level is doing.

My church has brought meals this entire week and one of my BFF's took 4 kids for the night last night-I REALLY got some rest!

GOD is just REALLY taking care of me and providing just what I need to make it through on bed rest while my hubby is away.

Showered with LOVE!

2010-04-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

Here are me & my 5 girls at my baby shower!

It was a blessed occasion with a HUGE turn out!

Hard to believe I was pregnant with the oldest 20 years ago! WOW!

DARLING rattle cupcakes made by my friends daughter

"8" chenille onesie hand made by my friend Jenni

for baby #8

3 hand made blankets

Striped blankie crocheted by my friend Sarah

Lavender knitted by my BFF Jen

John Deere quilt made by my friend Mindy

OH SO PRECIOUS booties knitted by my SIL!

FOOD!

God provided more than we could have ever asked for!

LADIES-I feel like dog DOO DOO!

This BP is NUTS!

That's why it's taken be so long to blog.

The shower took it all out of me girls!

I was emotional/crying through the ENTIRE shower.

I literally have a PANTING EXTRAVAGANZA just getting dressed!

If I do much more than lay on the couch, I'm really worn out!

It's been tough with my DH gone a week at a time.

I count the HOURS until he gets home.

I'm potty training my youngest and he insists I sit on the floor and

watch him pee every 5 minutes-UGH!

The potty trainee is WEARING MAMA SLICK!

I cannot wait to get to the Dr. Tuesday & check out this scene.

I'm tired of laying around like dead wood.

I AM SO THANKFUL for our church family

who brings meals & someone even came today just to take the kids out on a walk and to play-WHAT A BLESSING!

Diaper Bag-Test update..

2010-04-23T10:59:00.001-05:00

I just LOVE the Paul Frank Diaper Bag I got BABY GIRL!

It's even CUTER in person!

I got my test results back and the protein numbers haven't changed. This is a good thing. Its still elevated but not any higher. I'm still on bed rest until baby girl gets here.

SO EXCITED for my shower tomorrow!

28 Week STUFF!

2010-04-20T10:23:00.000-05:00

BIG MAMA at 28 WEEKS!

I am out of breath just showering and getting ready UGH!

SWEET BABY GIRL at 28 WEEKS!

Yes, that's her leg above her head :)

I ordered some SWANK thank you notes from EBAY.

Aren't they TOO CUTE?

$15 for 30 cards.

Now on to the exciting news... As most of you know, this is my 8th child. I have never had a baby shower for any of my adopted babies! My homeschool group moms are having my FIRST EVER baby shower for me and I could NOT BE MORE EXCITED & THRILLED! It's Saturday. I know it sounds dumb but I have always dreamed of registering for a shower & being at one-surrounded with family and friends. I took 20 minutes (as long as I can be on my feet) and registered at Target yesterday. IT FELT GOOD!

THE DOCTOR UPDATE...

I had my appointment yesterday. We did a regular sono, 3-D sono, my 28 week glucose-PASS, & 24 hour urine protein.

I won't have the results of the protein test back until today or tomorrow. That will tell the real story. The only concerning thing yesterday was the level of amniotic fluid. It is now on the lowest side of normal which is very common in pregnant moms with hypertension. They will be monitoring the fluid carefully from here on out. I am on modified bed rest until the birth of the baby and my church just emailed me that they will be brining in meals while my husband is at work.. I CRIED... WHAT A BLESSING. A blessing I would NEVER ask for but truly need.

27 weeks and a CAR SEAT!

2010-04-12T09:48:00.001-05:00

Here I am at 27 weeks!

My appointment last week went MUCH better than previous ones! YAY! My BP was 124/75. It was good for the first time EVER at my appointment! Also, my protein in my urine dipstick was negative!

The new BP med. I am on every 8 hours is really helping me to feel better although I still don't do much without getting winded and exhausted. And she still has me on modified bed rest until delivery. I am grateful for each day she stays safe inside and continues to grow! My doctor says she will not let me go full term and will be THRILLED if I make it to 34 weeks-JUST 7 WEEKS FROM NOW!! YIKES!

Hearing that got my butt in gear!!! Since I gave most ALL of my baby items-including all baby girl clothes to my 3 kids birth mother 2 years ago when she had her baby. I felt it was time to at least buy the car seat so if I go early, we are somewhat prepared! Here is the seat I ordered-its shipped and ON THE WAY! Its the Graco Snugride Infant Car Seat-ZOEY. LOVE IT!

I have my 3-D sono, 24 hour urine protein & glucose test a week from today! I CAN'T WAIT!

Hope you all have a BLESSED WEEK!

26 Weeks!

2010-04-04T18:42:00.002-05:00

PRAISING HIM for making it to 26 weeks!

I disobeyed Dr's orders and took my 6 little ones to the Easter Egg Hunt and Easter Story at our church yesterday. I called ahead and got some people to help me with the kids so I could just sit with my tootsies UP. I paid for it later......felt HORRIBLE the rest of the night but it was worth it to get the kids out for a bit-plus they also provided lunch so I didn't have to. I was only gone 1 1/2 hours but BOY it felt like FOREVER. I am so bummed that I have become so LAME!

I just don't feel like doing ANYTHING but sitting on the couch with my feet up & drinking ROOT BEER. I will be SO THANKFUL when my hubby FINALLY gets here in a few hours to relieve me a bit. My energy is just ZAPPED. I get out of breath going pee.

I see the Dr. Tuesday night at 7pm and I cannot wait to talk to her...They increased my BP meds on Wednesday and I think it helped a little bit but it amazes me how just 2 weeks ago I felt fine and now I am "A TRUE COUCH POTATO."

Here's ANOTHER SITE for Hospital Delivery Gowns....DELIVERING COMFORT. They have a darling black & white polka dot on sale for $29.95 and a coupon at the top for another 10% off.

So thankful to HIM today for dying on the cross for my sins and providing me with 8 wonderful blessings for children including my little "EASTER EGG" that I am growing!

Happy Easter to you ALL! HE IS RISEN!

HOT during DELIVERY!!

2010-03-31T14:11:00.003-05:00

I first learned about disposable hosptial gowns when I watched Tori Spelling deliver baby Stella in this HOT NUMBER from BYOG (Bring Your Own Gown).

The one she wore below is $95 OUCH!

Isn't this adorable??

This is what I will be delivering baby GIRL in!

Except mine has a green and white polka dot bow!

Mine was $25 (normally $40-$50) on ETSY from MY PINKY TOES!
She has the CUTEST fabrics and gowns I have seen!
You can even send her your own fabric and have her make yours for $25!

It is a disposable hospital gown (that I won't dispose of)

that buttons up the back and also has snaps on the side for easy nursing.

I want to be HIP during my hospital stay right?
This IS my LAST AND FINAL PREGNANCY &
I WANNA DO IT UP RIGHT!

My blood pressure has been OUTTA.CONTROL.

I am on moderated bed rest.

It's tough with 6 little ones and the hubby away.

Even walking to the potty sends it sky high.

I only get up long enough to pee and cook.

My BP meds were changed on Monday and increased today.

25 weeks!

2010-03-29T10:09:00.002-05:00

Here I am at 25 weeks!

Not the best belly pic but this dress is SUPER COMFY!

I LOVE DENIM!

Here is my new "BLING" until my old ring fits again.

Compliments of EBAY...$7.99 including shipping.

I have tried to "lay low." Went to church yesterday and that flat WORE ME OUT! I also took the kids to AWANA at church and dropped them off last night (I usually stay and volunteer) and went to a friends house and layed down for the 2 hours they were there. I got home and my BP was 170/102 so I quick layed on my left side and elevated my feet and it was back to normal in a bit.

The hubby did ALL my grocery shopping this past week for the first time-he did AWESOME! Only forgot one thing!

Craving....ROOT BEER! Doing KEGELS LIKE CRAZY! What else have I got to do?

BABY GIRL loves to get up and kick her buns off around 5am every morning :) SO SWEET!

I have one reality for ya'all... DISCHARGE! EWWWW, it's really picked up in the last few weeks-to the point where a panty liner is necessary-glad THE BOOK explains it all or I would have thought something was wrong with me.

I have yet to experience any stretch marks on my belly and my belly button is still an "INNIE" for now.

This is my first week flying solo without my man around while on "LOCK DOWN" status. Counting the days until my man gets home!

Have a great week everyone!

182-PRAISE THE LORD!

2010-03-25T10:18:00.000-05:00

I got my protein results back! It went from 856 down to 182-THANK YOU LORD!

I am still on pre bed rest status though. I am not to do anything much. Which is just fine with me as long as I can keep this sweet baby girl inside and growing!

My hubby has been FABULOUS and has me on LOCK DOWN! I appreciate his love and care of me and the baby so much. He has been a total "gem." At his suggestion, all 8 of us took a car ride out last night to get Sonic after dinner. Seeing him be such a fabulous father and husband makes him SO HOT to me :)

I have been swollen since about 5 weeks along-blood pressure related I'm sure. I haven't worn my wedding rings since then. I miss them.....

Thank you so much for all the well wishes and prayers-THEY WORKED!

Each day keeping her "baking" makes me happier and happier!

God is so good!

SLOOOOWWW DOWN.......

2010-03-23T10:38:00.001-05:00

That is what my OB told the hubby and I that I NEED TO DO from here on out-SLOW DOWN!

No more trips pretty much anywhere unnecessary.
She did mention the mall-THANK GOD for on-line shopping!!!

Church is okay but nothing where I have to be longer than an hour or 2

without a place to rest with my feet up.

I showed traces of protein in my urine at yesterdays appointment also.

THIS SCARES ME!

WHY?

Because even with all the protein elevation in my 24 hour urine tests,

I have never showed any in the dipstick urine in the office.

This sets off red flags to me that my protein will be HIGH.

The long and short is THIS

I now see my Dr. every 2 weeks until I deliver

We are praying I make it to 34 weeks.

I will find out my 24 hour urine protein results by tomorrow.

If it is under 3,000-I will be monitored super close and be on bedrest.

If it is over that, I will be on hospital bed rest.

If it is over 5,000 at any time, I will be delivering the baby.

Praising the Lord we've made it this far and my sweet one will do

WELL and survive if born right now.

THE GREAT NEWS IS THIS...

Baby Girl looks PERFECT!
She is 1#6oz, has plenty of amniotic fluid

and is a real "wiggle pickle."

I DID have the NERVE to ask her if I could ride on the back of the HARLEY..

She said "No, its not safe!"

I said "BUT WILL IT HARM ME OR THE BABY?"

and she said "no."

SO, BIG MAMA WILL Be taking at least 1 Harley ride before this baby is born!

24 WEEKS!

2010-03-20T13:50:00.003-05:00

Here I am at 24 weeks!

16 weeks (or less) to delivery!

It's GOING WAY TOO FAST!!!

I FEEL HUGE!!! I LOVE MY BELLY, I love the movement of my sweet girl.

IT'S GETTING HARDER TO...get up off the floor.....wipe my own rear......put on my shoes.....paint my toenails and many others....

I saw the nephrologist last week. He said I am not to the pre-eclampsia stage YET. The big test will be this week. I have several blood tests and another 24 hour urine I start tomorrow. WORST CASE SCENARIO IS, I would have to be on hospital bed rest, deliver early and there (3 hours from home) if my 24 hour urine is up. I have also been referred to a perinatologist...just in case.

The 24 hour urine test is tough because you have to collect all your pee for 24 hours and my appointments are always on Mondays which means I start on Sundays. This means I either haul my pee jug to church in a cooler or stay home. If my hubby is home, we go to church and he helps me with the 6 littles BUT, this week he is gone so I just can't take the stress of hauling 6 kids to church plus my pee jug. It REALLY puts a damper on things!!! Especially since we all LOVE & look forward to going to church each week.

I will let you all know how my appointment goes Monday and OF COURSE will be posting pics or our sweet little miracle girl!

I thank the good Lord for every day that goes by that I can keep my baby girl inside to grow and develop more.

Have a blessed weekend!

I am off to eat a cheeseburger...FULLY LOADED!!! Jalepenos and all!

Embryo Adoption T-SHIRT!!!

2010-03-15T11:59:00.003-05:00

Here I am SPORTIN' my new maternity T!

Designed by me at CUSTOMIZED GIRL

I promised God that if I got pregnant, I would ADVOCATE.

Adovcate for the other frozen embryos out there.

Advocate for embryo adoption.

I am both excited and afraid to wear the shirt IN PUBLIC.

I know there will be questions..

ARE YOU ADOPTED? (which I am)
Is the baby you are carrying adopted and if so,
"LIKE HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?"

Do you think the shirt is CLEAR AND TO THE POINT?

WILL PEOPLE GET IT?

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...

And if you are an embryo adoptive mother-
Go DESIGN YOUR OWN!!

T-shirt-$27

SPREADING THE WORD ABOUT EMBRYO ADOPTION...

PRICELESS

Baby's First Concert....

2010-03-10T09:46:00.001-06:00

We decided about 7 hours before the Bon Jovi concert last night to try & get tickets.

The baby ROCKED OUT To Richie Sambora but was quiet during Bon Jovi!

It was a WONDERFUL date night for us despite my swollen TOOTSIES!

Happy first concert little girl!

22 Weeks!

2010-03-06T13:50:00.011-06:00

Here's my 22 week belly shot!

I have been out of breath just walking across the room at times this week.

My BP has been elevated with exertion but not at rest so my

Dr. isn't too worried.

I have an appointment with a nephrologist in KC on Thursday.

I will update you all after my appointment.

The babe has been kicking a lot-I JUST LOVE IT!

REFRIED BEANS-I'm loving em this week!

I got my first gift for the baby from a dear friend yesterday!

LOVE IT!

Have a great week everyone!

21 week BELLY!

2010-02-27T21:37:00.000-06:00

21 Week Belly!

For the record :)

21 Weeks and Proteinuria...

2010-02-27T11:58:00.002-06:00

Here's our little sweet cheeks at 20 weeks 3 days.

Hand all curled under her little chin.

They measured EVERYTHING from head to toe on our angel-even her lips!

The verdict is-she is completely perfect and 100% on track for her age!

THEN THERE'S ME....UGH!

I have been waiting to update the blog until I knew the results of my 24 hour urine test which my Dr. assured me on Tuesday would be fine. Well, NOT SO MUCH... The amount of protein last month was 160.

When I heard my Dr's voice and not the nurses on my cell Thursday during a homeschool field trip, I knew something must not be right and immediately felt anxiety and tears set in...

She said my protein had quadrupeled to 800 and there is no explanation for it. She said she was not going to call it pre-eclampsia YET. I immediately pictured myself on bed rest in the hospital for the next months while my 6 little ones struggles without me at home-being cared for by strangers. The thought of it makes me tear up and my BP go sky high.

She got me in with a urologist yesterday afternoon who said this to me "ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE AT THE RIGHT PLACE?, YOU SHOULD REALLY BE SEEING A NEPHROLOGIST." He said "I just don't know what to do with you, I will call a nephrologist friend of mine and let you know next week." ALL THIS after I waited almost 2 hours to see him. AND OF COURSE, it was 5pm and my OB office is closed by now.

SO, I called the Dr. on call and told her the situation. She just told me to chill, drink lots of water and wait until Monday on which they will promplty make an appointment for me to see a nephrologist.

ON A WONDERFUL NOTE...

God let us know that he is still in control and protecting our little girl and me by allowing my sweet husband to feel SEVERAL LARGE KICKS last night! She is an active girl, just in the last few days! I LOVE feeling her move, it's just the neatest thing EVER! Trusting HIM all the way!

"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"

2 Corinthians 9:15

20 WEEKS!!

2010-02-20T09:04:00.002-06:00

I LOVE The way THE JUNK IN MY TRUNK is bigger than the BABY IN MY BELLY!

My next OB visit is Tuesday so I have to start peeing my big 24 hour urine jug Monday. Which means EVERYWHERE I GO, THE JUG GOES! I just KNOW I still have protein in my urine, I can just tell. My pee has smelled funny from the beginning of this pregnancy.

I have had a sinus infection and am on antibiotics for that but feeling better. I have SO MISSED my daily allergy meds while I've been pregnant. I'm allergic to EVERYTHING and I think that is adding to my infection.

OH THE HEARTBURN!!! It is VERY PAINFUL! I will be asking my OB about it on Tuesday to see if I can take anything cause the TUMS ain't cuttin' it!

I am craving sour cream and sour cream based DIPS. Sour Cream and Onion, Sassy Salsa and just plain old Doritos dipped in sour cream-YUM!! My previous obsession with chocolate has not returned?? According to my scale, I have only gained 5 pounds since my last appointment a month ago but I feel bigger.

Overalll, I am feeling GREAT!! I still can't believe I'm pregnant. Every once in a while I feel a little flutter but I truly thought I would be feeling more by now??????

Can't wait to see my little girl again on Tuesday for reassurance! Have a good weekend all!

I CANNOT BELIEVE I am 1/2 way to BABY!!

Show us YOUR LIFE-MINISTRY...

2010-02-19T09:43:00.000-06:00

I am joining those at KELLY'S CORNER today in SHOW US YOUR LIFE..Ministry

I promised God that if in fact our embryo adoption "worked" I would become an advocate for embryo adoption and for the 400,000+ frozen embryos out there looking for a warm place to grow.

I pray that this ministry will grow and I can help others who LIKE ME...thought there was no hope of ever experiencing the miracle of pregnancy and child birth.

ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE and I plan on being one that does!!!!!!!

Bought ME SOME of...

2010-02-17T10:17:00.000-06:00

THESE...

Chinese Cloth Diapers.

They ended up being $4.74 each for 20 one size fits all diapers with inserts.

Total $94.99 on EBAY.

I figure if I hate them, I'm only out $95 and if I love them-I'm saving a BOATLOAD on disposables not to mention SAVING THE PLANET!

What do YOU THINK??

Call from THE DOCTOR....

2010-02-02T08:10:00.001-06:00

In 2007 I had the priviledge of being nominated by my husband for a show called Americas Favorite Mom. There were a couple hundred thousand entries and I ended up in the final 15. I got to be on the Today Show and a Mother's Day special with Donny & Marie.

During all the chaos, they sent producers out to our home to film a segment on our family to show during the Mother's Day special. They were here for several hours. One of the producers "Jim" ALSO worked on the Dr. Phil show.

Well guess who called last night????? One of the producers from the show who works for Jim. Jim follows me on Twitter and knows about our blog. After a LONG phone interview last night, I have been given the opportunity to "POSSIBLY" be on the Dr. Phil Show to talk about embryo adoption/donation.

PLEASE join me in praying that we make the right decision regarding being on the show. On one hand it is an EXCELLENT opportunity to raise awareness for embryo adoption/donation. On the other hand I'm scared to death.

17 weeks... Blood Pressure.

2010-02-01T11:42:00.005-06:00

Here's my 17 week belly pic!

I will admit, I've been in a "funk" almost like living under a DARK CLOUD since our donor family changed their minds about the embryos-lots of crying and stress.....But I CANNOT let this steal my pregnancy joy or thrill I have for my little girl right? Well, it has robbed some of my joy despite me trying SO HARD not to let it.

The day after my last post, I got my results back from my 24 hour urine-still spilling protein-abnormal and high. She said there is NOTHING I can do to change it. UGH! I feel so helpless.

I had an "episode" yesterday when I was getting the kids all ready for church. I was just doing my normal thing, running around and gathering kids and clothes and I got out of breath & felt my heart racing. My BP was high. about 140/96. She doesn't really want my diastolic (bottom number) above 90 at any time and if so, I am to call. SO.. I waited until this morning and called. She increased my BP meds to 3 times a day.

After watching The Duggar's special last night and bawling my brains out while watching Michelle suffer with pre-eclampsia...I could only think "THAT COULD BE ME!!"

The sermon in church helped me yesterday. It was on FEAR. I fear SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

Fear for my baby's life.

Fear for MY life.

Fear of BED REST!

Fear of my child growing up with ALL that is gone on with the donor family.

I know but needed a WAKE UP CALL that this FEAR IS NOT OF THE LORD!!!!!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

Living in fear is sin, so I will TRY MY HARDEST to get a handle on it RIGHT NOW!

Sick and DEVASTATED....

2010-01-26T14:24:00.001-06:00

We signed the legal paperwork and our 3 embies became our friends embies on the 21st.

This morning came a HUGE BLOW...In my email inbox, the original donor couple who signed all rights over to my DH & I sent an email saying they really wanted their 3 embies back. SAY WHAT??? After falling in love with their sweet 2 month old daughter (sibling to my daughter) they re evaluated wanting to have another baby.

They are not legally ours any more. These embryos have no legal connection to us any more. After explaining this to them, they asked that I be a go-between to them and the other couple to get their embies back. TOO STRESSFUL FOR PREGNANT MAMA!

And guess what? My friend & her husband ARE GIVING THEM BACK. WHY you ask, because it is the right thing to do. Because they could not live with theirselves knowing that they kept these embies from their biological father (egg donor was used). GIVING BACK THE BABIES THAT ARE LEGALLY THEIRS. Because that's what Jesus would want them to do.

I am devastated on many levels. I am sore & sick to my stomach over it. I am devastated that my child will not grow up with my friends child. I am devastated for my friend. I am devastated because I am a pregnant emotional WRECK! I've bawled all day.

I told the donor couple that in my condition I cannot be the go between & that they will have to contact my attorney who is also my friends attorney. Lord help us.

AND THIS is some of the heartache that goes along with embryo adoption.....Rough day...

I am just venting here. this is my blog to vent on. I don't want any negativity please....

HERE --------- IS!!!!

2010-01-25T18:19:00.001-06:00

A SWEET BABY GIRL!!!

This is the view from the bottom up right between her legs and there's NOTHING THERE!
Aren't her legs, feet and hiney ADORABLE!

Here is her sweet face, belly and arm...

I HAD to head STRAIGHT to Baby Gap and get her SOMETHING PINK!

LOVED this little dress with bloomers!

And a few more things she just HAD TO HAVE!

PRAISING GOD TODAY for his faithfullness, and goodness to our family!

WE ARE BLESSED!!!

16 WEEKS!!

2010-01-23T13:22:00.005-06:00

16 weeks today! YIPPEE! ENTERING my 5th month-WOW!

I know by looking at the pictures that my belly is getting bigger but I feel bigger EVERYWHERE but the belly LOL. I just feel huge! I have decided to wear the same shirt and jeans in all the belly shot pics until I can't fit into them any more. It makes it easier to see the progression I think. Feeling....I'm feeling pretty darn good. I haven't puked in over a week-yippee! I have some heartburn-it comes and goes. My blood pressure has been normal thanks to meds-yay! I go to the Dr. Monday for a visit & sono and a repeat of my 24 hour urine test. I think ALL 7 kids will be able to make it to the sonogram-Should I call ahead and warn the tech? We will hopefully be able to see if we need to buy pink or blue! ANY GUESSES on the gender??????

Fears...I fear that since I feel so well, the baby is not okay. I don't think the fear of this baby being okay will leave until he/she is safe in my arms. I haven't felt terrible sick for a couple weeks & I KNOW this is normal but the fear is still there. Just being honest....

Movement...My oldest came by for a visit last night and I THINK I felt "something" on my right side while I was standing there talking to her. Like a "wave" in my belly. Was it the babe??????

Cravings...Wild Cherry Pepsi a day and it gives me some much needed "pep" during the afternoon while homeschooling the big kids as the little ones nap. TWIZZLERS, ANY Potatoes, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with PICKLES-not ON the sandwich...bite of grilled cheese, bite of pickle and so on. I still have not resumed any desire for chocolate which is SO NOT ME!

Until Monday....

Belly Pics...

2010-01-20T20:26:00.002-06:00

APPARENTLY, I am starting a new trend among the 4 year old girls in my house (MINUS THE UNDERWEAR ON THE HEAD). I only do that when I'm REALLY WILD!

HI...LARIOUS!!! My Mini-ME
If they think I'm big at 15w4d-OH MY!!!

Our Remaining Embies-A GOOD DAY!

2010-01-20T12:38:00.003-06:00

I am VERY EXCITED to say that we will be passing our 3 remaining precious blasts off to a WONDERFUL COUPLE!

We got the adoption agreement from our attorney today! We are very excited to sign it, get it to our clinic in L.A. and get her on her way to pregnancy!

Praying that she will have a February or March transfer! Which means that our kids would just be months apart! Our original donor couple had their baby in November so our baby will be 8 months younger than that baby! WHAT A MIRACLE!

To our recipient couple-WE LOVE YOU and are THRILLED for you!

As far as I go, I am feeling MUCH less nauseous! I am SO EXCITED about our sonogram on Monday! I feel kind of in "limbo" and like I haven't been to the doctor in forever! It's like if I don't hear the heart beat or feel anything... AM I STILL PREGNANT? I know, I'm a worry wart but I don't know if I will feel complete ease & comfort until this sweet one is in my arms safely.

13 WEEKS!!!

2010-01-02T09:05:00.004-06:00

I feel so blessed to be 13 weeks already!

I have been on the blood pressure medicine for 6 days now & it is working. The only side effect is DROWSINESS! UGH! I don't like not having energy and feeling like a "LUMP".

I saw my Dr. on Thursday. She showed me my lab. I am "leaking" protein into my urine but my kidneys are okay & still doing their job which is good. She is considering me to have chronic hypertension. I am high risk & will have more Dr. visits and monthly sonograms to make sure baby is okay. WHICH MEANS in just 22 days we have our next sono and will most likely know if we are having a boy or girl! HOW EXCITING! The baby measured perfect and the heart beat was 156!

My doctor is still shooting for my July 10 due date BUT...My risk for pre-eclampsia is high and if I do have high blood pressure later, the baby will come early. I am so thankful to be on the medicine & that it is helping.

Thank you Lord for getting us this far, for loving us, protecting us & for the miracle of this sweet baby.

Test Results...

2009-12-29T07:52:00.003-06:00

My test results came back yesterday from my 24 hour urine. It was not exactly what I wanted to hear. My urine showed elevated protein levels so I was put on twice daily blood pressure medicine which I started last night. I will have another 24 hour urine in 1 month.

They will be monitoring me very closely & told me to lay down with my feet up or on my left side as much as possible & not get stressed (HA HA HA with 6 young kids & a hubby that is gone 2 weeks a month, it won't happen often). I also have a lot of swelling (can't wear my wedding ring).

The good news is that she said it is doing more harm to me & hardly any to the baby at this point. I go in Thursday to see my doctor & hopefully will get more answers then & be reassured by hearing the baby's heart beat.

I am comforted by knowing that God is holding both of us in his palm...

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T12:26:00.004-06:00

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!!!!!!!!!"For a child is born to us, a son is given to us.The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called:Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace!" Isaiah 9:6

Praising HIM for all our Christmas Miracles & for the birth of our Savior!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

High Blood Pressure

2009-12-22T11:36:00.006-06:00

I have struggled all weekend with high blood pressure. It all started Friday evening when I went to scrub my kitchen floor on my hands and knees after one of the kids spilled apple juice. I got a bit scared as just doing that little bit of work took my breath away. It took laying down for quite a while to get my breath back. I decided to go ahead and check my BP and it was 150/100. I took it a bit later and it was still 130/98. I took it first thing Saturday morning and it was still high so I called the Dr. on call.

THE DOCTOR told me to rest with my feet up and keep monitoring my BP the rest of the weekend. I told her it would be difficult to keep my feet up with 6 little ones to care for. That's when she CROSSED THE LINE. She said "MAYBE AFTER THIS BABY, YOU SHOULD CONSIDER SOME BIRTH CONTROL!"

The NERVE!!! She doesn't know me, has NO CLUE that my other 6 kids are adopted and that this baby was prayed for, worked hard for and a true MIRACLE! UGH! I WILL be discussing this with my Dr. when I see her.

It was determined that I either have chronic hypertension or PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension). At any rate, it is VERY worrisome. I started a 24 hour urine today and will turn it in tomorrow morning to see if I am spilling protein into my urine & will also be seen by the Dr. and have another BP check. I don't think I have chronic hypertension BECAUSE I have NEVER EVER had high BP in my life and my chart proves it. I have also had major swelling in my arms, legs and feet. If I have either of the conditions I will now be HIGH RISK & be seen more often. I am praying that I will be able to take a high blood pressure medicine and still be able to have a normal pregnancy. I can't WAIT until my hubby gets home on Sunday-he is SUCH a HUGE HELP!

Dear Lord,
Please protect me and the baby. Please wrap your arms around our baby and keep him/her safe. Please don't let this high blood pressure affect or harm our little miracle.
AMEN

First OB visit!

2009-12-17T10:14:00.003-06:00

I had my 1st OB visit on Monday. They drew 2 vials of blood, had me pee in a cup and took my weight. I am up 7 pounds from August. This is THE MOST I've weighed since my last pregnancy in 1989 & I'm not thrilled about it.

The nurse went over all the info, what to eat, how often I will be seen etc. & made all my appointments through June. I then met with my Dr. and we went over things. She was THRILLED that I am pregnant. I am her 1st embryo adoption patient & the first one in the entire practice! SO EXCITING! She went over the test that MOST moms over 35 need (NT scan etc) and it was clear I needed none of them since my donor mom was 22. She says "I will basically treat you like you are 22!" WISH I FELT LIKE IT!!!

I then went into a room with a nurse who was searching for the baby's heart beat on doppler. She tried many times and couldn't find it so I happily & nervously waited 45 minutes until a sono tech was available and was THRILLED to see our little miracle with arms and legs just FLAILING about! They REALLY went out of their way to make sure I was at ease. It is well worth the hour drive each way!

Here is our little sweet one at 10w2d! Heart Beat 176! Next visit-New Year's Eve Day. I thought after my last shot, the morning/all day sickness would get better. It may have eased up a bit but I am sick most of the time & comforted in the fact that this means baby is doing GREAT!

I puked the other night & peed my pants all at the same time, looked at DH and BAWLED! Poor guy, I don't think he knew what to say! I am a hormonal mess. I cry at the tiniest things AND I have swelling in my hands, legs and feet!

Praising God for our little miracle! God IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

10 week Belly AND HEAD!

2009-12-12T12:08:00.004-06:00

I'm 10 weeks today-YIPPEE!!Someone asked me last night if I was "SURE there was just one in there?"

I must look big???

NO MORE SHOTS!!! A reason to CELEBRATE!

SLOPPY NACHOS!

2009-12-10T12:12:00.007-06:00

Have been my MAIN craving! Love adding some sloppy joe mix, cheese, sour cream and jalapenos on my chips! THIS HITS THE SPOT FOR BIG MAMA! Anything Mexican has been right up my alley this pregnancy! I have STRANGELY lost ALL craving for any chocolate or sweets-What is wrong with me?
Not much new here. 2 PIO shots left-YAHOOO-GOOD BYE LUMPY BUTT! We are also making plans to get the legal finalized on our 3 remaining embryos-which we will be donating to friends as soon as my 1st trimester is over. She will be doing her transfer in March-SO EXCITING!!

Oh, and the pregnancy dreams-INSANE! One night, I'm being chased by a lone gunman & the next I am living on the beach with flamingos and penguins. I have dreamed about a baby girl with pig tails? BIZARRE STUFF PEOPLE!

I have my first appointment with an OB nurse on Monday. Don't get to see my Dr. until 13 weeks-WHAT UP WITH THAT? I'm still excited! I was officially released from my RE to my OB this week-YAY! I will be 10 weeks on Saturday! God is GOOD!

DA BELLY..

2009-12-03T17:52:00.016-06:00

The first picture was taken at 4 weeks.The second one at 8 weeks. I am BUSTING OUT OF MY PANTS-and very happy about my mini bump. Or as my hubby says "looks like you just ate one too many do-nuts!" SO SWEET!

My 10 year old son is the lucky fella that has taken all my belly pics! I take them every 2 weeks or so just to keep track.

Maybe one day when I'm wearing makeup and have done my hair (sometime in the 2nd trimester I assume), I will actually show you my head!

Still feeling lots of pregnancy symptoms and morning sickness. Thankful for it!

Even more thankful that I only have 9 more days of shots left!

My Dr. from CA called to congratulate me again the other day-we chatted for about 15 minutes. He has the most mellow, calming voice and really cares about his patients. We discussed my fears of stopping the progesterone and estrogen shots COLD TURKEY. He assured me that he had never had one woman lose a baby after 10 weeks because of progesterone deficiency. He also assured me that the placenta will have taken over the progesterone production by this point for sure. Really eased my mind!

8w2d SONO!

2009-11-30T11:35:00.003-06:00

This is our gorgeous little miracle at 8w2d!! You can see the little arm and leg buds sticking out! SO PRECIOUS! His/Her little heart beat was 174bpm-right where it should be! A beautiful sight!

I have been SO SICK and TIRED! I guess my body is manufacturing the placenta right now-making me one exhausted MAMA! I have fought nausea & vomiting except while I am sleeping. I have had very little thought of miscarriage since being so sick-I KNOW the baby is okay as sick as I have been so the sickness is comforting.

It does make it difficult to be a patient mama & prepare for Christmas with the 6 little ones but God has given me the strength and stamina I need to get through & I know he will continue. I also have a horrible cold and am used to taking cold medicine. NO DOPE FOR ME!!!

FIRST PUKE-Jen Update

2009-11-25T19:08:00.003-06:00

YOUR PRAYERS WORKED! Jen called and ALL IS WELL with her twinkies-PRAISE THE LORD and thank you for your prayers. She is now at home resting peacefully!

I was convinced this baby was a boy until tonight.... When I puked for the first time. I was very sick with my dd when I was pregnant 20 YES 20 years ago at age 19. Since I hadn't puked yet and was just nauseous, I assumed I was having a boy. God is so funny! He's really got me confused now!

It is taking LITERALLY EVERYTHING I HAVE to cook Thanksgiving dinner as the smell of anything but toast makes me want to puke!

I am NOT COMPLAINING-just keepin' it real! I puked and right after thanked the good Lord for my blessing. Being sick reminds me that everything is okay and baby is growing wonderfully! Thank you for that constant reminder Lord.

Have a BLESSED Thanksgiving!

Prayers NEEDED!!

2009-11-25T12:03:00.004-06:00

Just got a call from my BFF through embryo adoption-JEN.

She is on her way to be monitored at the hospital. While at her routine OB appointment today they couldn't find one of the twins heart beats on doppler but they did on sono. They were concerned about both the babes heart beats and that Baby A was not active.

Jen is so scared but at the same time, she knows these babies are Gods and that HE HAS BIG PLANS FOR THEM! She is just not ready for them to be born yet at 29w5d.

I promised her I would request prayer on my blog and keep you all informed of any developments.

Please take a moment & say a prayer for Jen, her twins, her other 5 little ones and her hubby Pat! Thank you! God Bless & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I'm COMING OUT!!

2009-11-23T11:50:00.005-06:00

I wanted you guys to know "the real me." I have another family blog that I just announced my pregnancy on.

THAT BLOG DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS BLOG and I DON'T WANT IT TO :) Make sense? But, I wanted to share with you guys my other blog IF you are interested!

There are just some things on this blog I only want you guys to know-not particularly my IRL (in real life) friends and family that all read my other blog!

So CLICK HERE if you want to read about THE REAL ME-not the anonymous me!

I still want to share my feelings & embryo adoption experience with you guys and have also shared part of my story on my family blog. CLEAR AS MUD??? ALRIGHT THEN!!

It went well telling our parents except my mom was QUITE confused. She asked if I was having a "twin" to the donor couples baby? SAY WHAT MAMA? Twins are born at the same time out of the same womb. My MIL was the only one of the 4 to REALLY get it!

I am SUPER DUPER NAUSEOUS! Off to fix lunch and take a nap!

Meeting with THE PARENTS!

2009-11-20T12:40:00.003-06:00

Both sets of parents are driving up for the day tomorrow. We will be telling them our wonderful news. I will be 7 weeks. They know NOTHING of our plans so I am not sure how they will react. They are all 4 in their mid seventies and I am praying this embryo adoption talk does not COMPLETELY freak them out.

This is how we will initially be telling them-with our littlest one coming out in this shirt except it is Black and our boys name is not Gavin :) And then of course we will be showing them our sonogram pictures!

HMMMM...should be an interesting day!

As for me, I am nauseous and exhausted AND THANKFUL FOR IT!

Blessing....

2009-11-16T10:52:00.006-06:00

Here is our little blessing! One sweet little jewel with a perfect heart beat!
Measuring a PERFECT 6w2d old! The circle on the right is the yolk sac and the baby is the oblong part attached on the left. The head is at the top, rump at the bottom It was a surreal, emotional moment to see and hear the little heart beating! My dh was holding my hand all the while. We are SO THRILLED!! We watched and listened to the little sweetie for about 10 minutes. It was so neat!

On the way there, we drove by a lake, there was a bald eagle-THE FIRST ONE I'VE EVER SEEN IN REAL LIFE-floating above the lake. We also drove to the appointment in the first snow/blizzard of the year. It was a monumental day with God's beauty ALL around us!

We then went for a celebratory breakfast at Panera. I had a wonderful hot chocolate and a DIVINE bacon, spinach souffle. Just what the baby needed.

We have our next u/s in 2 weeks!

Praise the Lord for our sweet miracle baby!

To God be the GLORY!

6 weeks!!

2009-11-14T09:44:00.003-06:00

I am 6 weeks today. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

I have many symptoms I am thankful for-a sore hiney from all those PIO & delestrogen shots, an itchy rash on the rump from the shots, slight nausea, breast tenderness and expansion, bloated belly, constipation, exhaustion and just plain JOY!!

Joy that this embryo adoption really worked! Joy that I am REALLY PREGNANT!

We will know in 2 days if we have one little jewel or two in there. I am praying both are flourishing nicely! SO EXCITED for our sonogram! It's Monday at 8am.

I am on my way to shop. My VOLUPTUOUSNESS has caused me to be busting out of the 2 bras I have that fit & it's quite uncomfortable. I am heading to get some bras, basketball shoes for my son and some Christmas shopping done too!

Have a blessed weekend and I can't wait to show you pictures of the little miracles on Monday!

Old Blood? FEAR.

2009-11-10T15:55:00.003-06:00

I had a SMIDGE of old brown blood this a.m. when I woke up. It was just in my underwear. None when I wiped & I've worn a panty liner ALL DAY and no more. What does this cause for me??

FEAR!!!!!! Fear of miscarriage, fear of a blighted ovum and much more.

It is now that I must trust in the Lord to protect my babies and not let the fear stay constant & not research anything on the internet (oops too late).

It is now that I must recite the scriptures I know over and over in my head.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

It is now that I must comfort myself knowing that God HAS BIG PLANS FOR THESE LITTLE ONES!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

NO MORE...

2009-11-09T11:29:00.005-06:00

My RE doctor called to congratulate me on Friday. He said I have "solid numbers" and wished me a great pregnancy.

I had LOTS of questions for him. The first being

"CAN I STILL RIDE ON THE BACK OF OUR HARLEY?" He chuckled and said "No, you have worked too hard to get pregnant, I just don't want you bouncing around on the back of the bike."

So much for our end of the season ride and this most likely means I will be "OUT" for Sturgis next year LOL!

Also, no more 4-wheeler, go-cart OR jumping on our trampoline with the kids LOL!

I guess I never thought of all this stuff before!

I am feeling good. Just VERY TIRED, sore boobs, a smidge of nausea, constipation, frequent bathroom trips and I just FEEL bigger than I am LOL! Yesterday at church, I felt like "everyone knew I was preggers." I am paranoid, what can I say?

The PIO shots have also caused a rash on my rear end. IT ITCHES LIKE MAD! I have the choice to either continue having an itchy rear or do 3 vaginal suppositories a day which sounds like NO FUN! I really do not want to put anything up there so for now I am sticking to the shots!

I am 5 weeks 2 days already! Which means their little heart/hearts have already begun to beat. Hard to believe! God is so amazing! I will have my sono in one week! So exciting!

GROW BABIES GROW!

RELAXING...

2009-11-06T09:56:00.003-06:00

That's what I am doing now that I just got my 3rd beta #! It needed to be above 600~

Drumroll please......

920!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yippee YI YI YAY! Giving Him ALL THE GLORY!

BTW, I'm also giving HIM ALL THE GLORY FOR MY NAUSEA! THANK YOU LORD!

Time to go hang up the big bag of maternity clothes I bought at Target! I was waiting for these results before I unpacked them!

Beta #2 Update

2009-11-04T17:06:00.002-06:00

The nurse at my clinic did not seem concerned she said it was a good number and normal however they do want me to do another Beta on Friday and would like to see the number above 600. Patience, God is teaching me more patience right?

Praying my little one/ones are doing okay in there!

BETA #2

2009-11-04T14:26:00.002-06:00

331

I am not thrilled with this number. Still waiting on the doctor to call and tell me what he thinks. I know it most likely means one of my little ones is no longer with me.

I will update after I chat with Dr.

NapTIME...

2009-11-03T15:30:00.007-06:00

Has become a routine part of my EVERY DAY! I'm exhausted. Luckily, I nap when my other kids nap so that is WONDERFUL!

Nap time was VERY SPECIAL today because I woke up to THESE!!!!!! Over 2 dozen roses!!!!! They are from a couple that has a LOT to do with our embryo adoption. I will be telling you ALL about them later. My FIRST congratulatory gift-THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I decided to put these on my night stand.And these on my dressing table in my bathroom.

Another GLORIOUS day of GROWING BABIES & Friendship!!!

Can't wait for my beta results tomorrow!

A FRIEND LOVES AT ALL TIMES! Proverbs 17:17

3 Gifts!

2009-11-02T18:54:00.004-06:00

Besides the wonderful GIFT of my great beta,

The second gift is 2-fold. The first part-a FLU SHOT-UGH! It was a CINCH compared to the progesterone shots. The second part of the gift was when lab tech called back to the nurse and said "WE HAVE an OB patient here that needs a flu shot." AN OB Patient? Who ON EARTH was she talking about. OH HEAVENS....LITTLE Ol' ME!

I HEADED TO TARJAY right after my beta and flu shot & purchased myself gift #3...

A BODY PILLOW!! I looked on-line at pregnancy pillows. They are like $50. This hot little number was $20. $10 for the pillow, $10 for the giraffe cover that's soft like butter.

Can't wait to curl up to this BAD BOY tonight... AHHHHHH!!!

Dear Lord,

Tonight I thank you for everything you have given me. I thank you for letting my "jewel/jewels" survive thus far. Father, I know that these children are truly yours and I promise I will be the best mom I can be to them and teach them all about you.

Tonight I want to say a special thank you for all the IF friends you've brought into my life. I want to pray for those hurting, still trying, on their 2ww, in limbo or suffering a loss tonight. I hurt for them tonight. Father, give them hope. Reassure them that with YOU all things are possible. AMEN.

BETA IN....

2009-11-02T10:12:00.003-06:00

1st official Beta....

196!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank YOU JESUS! Giving HIM all the GLORY!

Next beta Wednesday then 1st u/s 16th YIPPEE!

4 week madness!

2009-10-31T09:22:00.001-05:00

Here's me in all my madness LOL!

Happy 4weeks little ones-KEEP GROWING!

NERVOUS NELLY!

2009-10-30T13:48:00.004-05:00

Yes, i am a nervous NELLY about this pregnancy. I think all who have suffered IF are right? I just may be a bit more NUTS than the others of you.

I had a SHARP pain in my lower right side in the middle of the night that lasted about 30 seconds. It woke myself and DH up.

OF COURSE I called my gyn office this a.m.(after my positive $TREE test of course) and was promptly told it is TOTALLY NORMAL and just ligaments stretching out to make room for baby. She also told me that I also needed to get a flu shot when I am in the office Monday for my beta. I guess I will although I've never had one before.

I know you all must think I am COO COO FOR COCOA PUFFS to be testing every day but, it gets even better with my looniness ladies. In order to get pregnant, I had a surgery in August. My belly has never quite UNSWOLE itself from then AND all the hormone shots I take daily have made my abdomen a bit bigger. We were out yesterday and my biggest pair of jeans was DIGGING INTO MY GUT.

SO, you guessed it, at 3w5d pregnant I went to MOTHERHOOD MATERNITY and got a pair of jeans and a sweat outfit. DON'T JUDGE PEEPS! I know I'm nuts but they fit like butter and let my swollen gut breathe!!!!! If you've never been in there, they strap a fake belly pillow on you when you try the clothes on-so unbelievable.

Then I cried ALL THE WAY HOME in the car telling DH how I had just longed for the day to actually just buy a pair of these and just go into one of these stores. When I was pregnant 19 years ago, I never would have been able to afford to go in a maternity store. I wore sweats and big shirts!

I'm just "KEEPIN' IT REAL HERE" ..NUTS OR NOT!

PS-I'll be exactly 4 weeks tomorrow in case you wondered LOL!

TMI? PSYCHO TESTER!

2009-10-28T17:26:00.011-05:00

Yes, I have become a PSYCHO TESTER! LOL! I just splurged on one of the "gold" tests just to reconfirm for the 2nd time today. You that have been through IF know the feeling. It's just SO HARD to believe. I really can't believe it, Even when the test came up positive in seconds. I don't know when I will truly believe it? I struggle with that. Something we've dreamed about for the 10 years we've been together is really happening-WOW!

Although my pre-natals have a stool softener in them, I'm one constipated MAMA! OUCH! I will be off for prune juice in the morning. I took a nap today when my kids napped and have a feeling this will be part of my normal routine. I was also told to up my caloric intake by 40% so I am really trying to eat more. My Dr. said this is critical in the first 2 weeks.

The nurse called today. I will go in Monday for my 2nd Beta, Wednesday for my 3rd beta and if my numbers look fabulous, I will have my first u/s on November 16th to see if there are one or two little jewels in there. WOW, that's FAR AWAY! I wonder if I can talk my GYN into sneaking an u/s in earlier. She also confirmed my due date of July 10.

I have been searching my Bible and praising my Lord for his gifts to our family. This verse spoke to me last night and it is so true!

"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. " Psalm 20:4-5

We give HIM ALL THE GLORY FOR THESE PRECIOUS ONES!

Gomer Pyle. SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!!

2009-10-27T14:56:00.006-05:00

Do you remember him saying that?

God has been so good to us.

I bought a total of 11 HPT's because I knew I would be an anal retentive FREAK about testing. I bought 9 from The Dollar Tree $9 total and 2 "GOLD" Early Response for $20.

I took a Dollar Tree HPT yesterday at 4dp6dt (4 days post 6 day transfer meaning the babies were 6 days old when transferred)-negative.

I thought "WHAT THE HEY" and decided to take another this a.m. at 5dp6dt. GUESS WHAT?

TWO LINES BABY!!!! I'm PREGNANT!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!

I had my progesterone and estrogen lab scheduled for today so I loaded up and went down & got my blood drawn and FOR SOME REASON (wonder what that could be?) they did an HCG also.

I got a call from my nurse out in CA about an hour ago she said "your progesterone is high which is good and FOR SOME REASON THEY DID AN HCG although we do not like to do them this early...YOU ARE DEFINITELY PREGNANT!" She also said they want to see my beta at least 70 on Monday! She said to stay "cautiously optimistic."

I AIN'T STAYIN' CAUTIOUS ABOUT NOTHING-I'M PRAISING GOD FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!!

Thank you Jesus for having mercy on me and saving my sweet babies! Praise the LORD!

Oh, and this is the maternity shirt I plan on ordering & wearing! LOVE IT!

HOME....

2009-10-25T12:48:00.004-05:00

I rolled in last night around midnight. Slept the entire way to the airport and almost the entire flight. I stopped at CVS pharmacy and bought 2 early response GOLD pregnancy tests which I plan on taking next Friday and Saturday.

Now, what you've all been waiting for... Our little embies. This is our first little hatching blastocyst jewel-weighing in at 5AAA and hatching out of it's little shell-adorable I think.

This is our second jewel-a 4AAA expanded blast thawed the morning of the transfer. You can see the laser mark on the lower right hand side where the Dr. lasered it for assisted hatching. (to help it come out of it's shell just like his brother or sister in the above pic) VERY REMARKABLE!I spent most of my time here, with this view and with my feet in the air crashed by the pool or beach. I actually fell asleep AND DROOLED in a lounge chair.A message for our sweet daddy.Our final stop before heading home was to Grant's Park on top of a mountain/hill. The Padre Serra Cross was the perfect place to say a prayer and blessings over the sweet ones in my womb. Angel prayed with her hand on my belly for these 2 little lives to grow and "make it" and I promptly BAWLED like a baby. In just 1 week I will know if my babies made it. So surreal.....

Babies ON BOARD!!!

2009-10-23T10:38:00.003-05:00

I left my house yesterday at 4:09am for the airport. My DH, got up, loaded my bag, embraced me and said the most wonderful prayer over me. The entire 2 1/2 hr. drive to the airport it poured rain and I prayed and listened to praise and worship music all the way. The flight left KC at 8am SHARP. I was able to take a little nap on the plane. Angel & I arrived into L.A. around 9:15 & got our rental car. We made a VERY IMPORTANT stop at In & Out. We were told by the car rental worker that we MUST order our burgers "ANIMAL STYLE." And we did. SO SUPER YUM! Fries cut from a fresh potato with each order! TO DIE FOR!

The traffic was fairly MOBBED getting out of L.A. and we did just fine in our HOT Dodge Caliber. We listened to a variety of 80s oldies since we couldn't find a K-LOVE station.

I drove the hour to get to the fertility clinic. I wasn't too nervous until I walked in the door. Then I felt EVERY MUSCLE tense up in my body. I paid the transfer fee $2200 and was taken back for the "mock transfer" and transvaginal u/s. The mock took about 10 seconds and the u/s looked PERFECT! 13mm lining and trilaminar. No free fluid or cysts. YAY!! Called dh to report :)

I was then moved into the transfer room called my dh again and undressed completely-put on the ugly booties, took 1 valium and was joined by Denise-my acupuncturist & she put the needles in. I didn't relax as much as I normally do with acupuncture. I would have liked to-I was still a nervous NELLY. I cranked on some calm Daniel Eric Groves worship music but was still agitated. I tried deep breathing. Basically, the valium didn't do SQUAT!!!! Then it was transfer time.

Dr. K came in and gave me the report on my 2 sweet embies. The one that was thawed on Wednesday is graded 5AAA and was already hatching out. The one thawed yesterday morning was graded 4AAA. It was at THIS POINT that I got emotional and broke down. IT WAS REALLY HAPPENING! I apologized as the tears remained flowing quietly.

He said I would see a "flash" on the screen when the babies went in but I didn't see it really. They are so small. When he was all done. Dr, K gently rubbed my arm and said "You have jumped through many hoops to get these babies and you have done everything I have asked of you & the good news is, it could not have gone any more perfect." I then asked him what my percentage was of pregnancy. He said "70%-80%". Then I asked him what the percentage for twins was and he said "35%." That 35 saddened me. I would have liked this to be higher but I know one thing...
MY GOD CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! MY GOD DOES NOT CARE ABOUT PERCENTAGES!!! HE CAN MAKE BOTH THESE BABIES SURVIVE!

Angel drove to our hotel on the beach where we ate out by the ocean & the chef at the hotel cut an ENTIRE pineapple core for me into slices-I ATE THE WHOLE THING (which the acupuncturist said would be GREAT) & then retreated to our room. I took another Valium around 6pm as I opened the balcony door and listened to the waves, I drifted off to sleep. I woke up at 11pm to go potty and write in my journal & pray then went to sleep until 6am. A good 12 hour sleep is just what the babies and I needed.

Just enjoyed whole grain pancakes and chicken apple wood smoked sausage for breakfast and now I am off to go up the road for an hour massage-I thought that would be really good for me :)

Where we are staying there is a great pool and TONS of surfers and a HUGE pier. I could watch them surf ALL DAY! VERY RELAXING!

The THAW....

2009-10-21T15:37:00.005-05:00

I just got a call from the embryologist. She thawed a straw with 2 embies in it. One of our "jewels" is now resting in the arms of Jesus. I have had my cry & my dh even teared up.

The little jewel got stuck to the side of the straw and would not come out without harming it.

We have one "excellent" 4AB blast ready to meet mama tomorrow and she will be thawing a second straw with 1 5AB blast in the morning.

By this time tomorrow I will be pregnant! UNBELIEVABLE!

One of my BSIC (bloggy sisters in Christ) said God spoke to her about sending me this WILD OLIVE t-shirt for the day I meet my babies. I will be wearing it on the plane, to the transfer and may not take it off until I get back!

This is the quoted verse on the shirt"

"He who began an good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I will try to blog while I am gone but may not check in until I get back Sunday! Say an extra prayer for us would ya?

WORKED UP!

2009-10-19T19:34:00.005-05:00

I was so WORKED UP Friday thinking I may be ovulating & have free fluid on my u/s, I forgot to ask about my lining.

Dr.'s office called today to say its "PERFECT" at 12mm and trilaminar-YIPPEE! Wonder what it will be on Thursday for the transfer?

My acupuncturist called to confirm our appointment today. I asked her if a money order would be acceptable payment and she said "GROOVY!" Hello California LINGO! LOVE IT! She said she would spend about 45 minutes before my FET and 45 minutes after my FET for my acupuncture sessions. That plus the VALIUM-I should be one RELAXED MAMA!

Can't forget to buy that pineapple on the way back to the hotel. Eating the core supposedly helps those babies attach and I will do whatever it takes if I remotely think it will help them bond with their mama!

I am starting to get my suitcase packed. Its still surreal.

Oh, and I have BIG LUMPS in my rear from the progesterone but it will be SO WORTH IT!

We told our friends and when I told her she said "I AM THRILLED FOR YOU!" She totally understood why we didn't share earlier. What a blessing to have so many friends lifting us and our sweet little "jewels" (embryos) up! Thank you ALL! 3 days and I will be PUPO!

Thank you so much Lord for all the support you have given us during this embryo adoption. Thank you for all those praying for our babies to live. Thank you for everything. AMEN

JUNK in DA TRUNK-THANKFUL!

2009-10-17T20:34:00.004-05:00

I gave myself my first IM PIO (progesterone in oil) shot today. No biggie. It was 1cc. Tomorrow I will be doing 2cc's and stay at that dose for the long haul. I'm sure once I do them daily, it will be hard to sit on the old rump. Luckily, God gave me PLENTY of JUNK IN MY TRUNK to put that needle into :) Thank you Lord!

I have had some mild side effects from the delestrogen that I wanted to share for those of you who may do this in the future. Some headaches, lots of abdominal bloating,edema (swelling of the arms/legs) & weight gain. My doctor checked me out a couple weeks ago and said I was just fine. As long as the swelling wasn't in one area, I'm good to go. Other than that it hasn't been bad.

DH & I were just discussing all my travel arrangements. He will be staying here to "MAN THE HOUSE" and kids and my close friend Angel will be going with me. She is an R.N. so she will be a great asset to have! WE CAN'T WAIT! To just chill on the beach, read our Bibles, eat like pigs, pray, read magazines, books & have some girl time-SO EXCITED! And obviously SO EXCITED about the babies!

My DH mentioned last night that he REALLY wants to tell our best friends-a couple we have vacationed with and go to church with & hang out with on a weekly basis about the embryo adoption before I leave for California. I know they will pray for/with us and support us all the way. We willl be doing that in the next couple days. Why haven't I wanted to tell anyone??? THE STRESS!!! AND-I don't want ANY judgements. Right now I want my focus to be on GROWING THESE 2 LITTLE LIVES & nothing else.

LOOONNNGGG DAY!

2009-10-16T21:54:00.003-05:00

I have struggled to sleep since my u/s & blood work Monday indicated I may be ovulating & the threat of my cycle being cancelled YET AGAIN. I rose early & was SURE I was ovulating this morning- I JUST KNEW IT. I was at my GYN's office by 8:15am, got my lab and u/s done. The ultrasound showed one small cyst (possible ovulation BUT NO FREE FLUID-YIPPEE!!

I FINALLY got the call at noon from my Dr. here saying my progesterone was 0.4-NON-OVULATORY!!!!

Tonight during my daughters birthday party with 18 or so kids ON A HAY RIDE-my Dr's office FINALLY called to say that I am G2G!

GOOD TO GO PEOPLE!!!! I GET TO MEET MY BABIES IN JUST 6 DAYS! HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!

Thank you so much for all your prayers, comments and support!

Tomorrow I start the EVER ANTICIPATED progesterone shots-YAHOO! I seriously can't wait to get this BABY MAKIN' PARTY STARTED!

Lord tonight I give you ALL THE GLORY for making this work out! I knew you would work it out just like you wanted it to. I was fully prepared to have this cycle cancelled today and even had my November dates picked out if it happened. Thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me. Thank you for my sweet little embies who will be brought to life in just 6 days. Thank you for my donor couple and all the love they show us and for it all. I am humbled once again by your mercy for such a sinner as me.

FREAKED...

2009-10-13T20:11:00.003-05:00

I'm exhausted. FINALLY tonight around 7pm my RE's nurse called me back. My progesterone is 0.2 and estrogen is 822-both good & progesterone indicating I am NOT ovulating now.

The free fluid in the sonogram however... A DIFFERENT STORY. Apparently free fluid can indicate ovulation so he MUST make sure I'm not ovulating and the fluid is gone before I fly out to L.A. I am very bummed out and freaked.

The plan now is for me to go in and get a repeat u/s and progesterone on Friday and if all is well-start my other meds and progesterone on Saturday. It is possible for him to drain the fluid once I get there but he wants to make FOR SURE everything is okay.

Lord, I'm tired, I'm discouraged. Please let me know that this is what I am suppose to do. Like Jen said, "maybe this is just my "last hurdle" to prove I am serious about these babies and I will triumph." I will trust in you Lord. Where you lead I will follow even if it's not the path I want. I really want to meet my little ones, I am praying you allow it to happen as planned. Amen

Looking Good (I THINK?)

2009-10-12T13:19:00.003-05:00

NO, THIS IS NOT MY UTERUS :) I just wanted to show those who may not know what the Dr. is looking for at this point what it is suppose to look like. The green out line is the trilaminar or "TRIPLE STRIPE" which is VERY GOOD! The red outline is the thickness of the uterus. The below uterus is perfect for a FET. Mine is ALMOST it's twin. Today my uterus is triple stripe with a thickness of 9.2-PERFECT!

I did however have 2 concerns. I had three small "inactive cysts" on my left ovary-she could tell for sure that I did not ovulate and they weren't from that so that's good. I also had some "free fluid" that was not in my uterus. I have NO IDEA what that means but I am DYING to talk to my Dr's office to make sure they approve of this ultrasound. I will post as soon as I know! 10 days to go peeps!!

Dear Lord, I know you want this transfer to take place. I also know you want these little ones to survive. I have depended on you SO MUCH lately to keep me sane & I continue to draw ALL my strength from you. I just KNOW this is going to work out. I know I have so many people praying for me. I am thankful for Jen, A & H, My selfless donor couple, my DH and many other bloggy friends. I just pray that they will continue to lift me and these little ones up and all will go smoothly & according to YOUR PURPOSE. We promise to dedicate these precious ones to you. AMEN

Chat with Embryologist..

2009-10-09T21:45:00.010-05:00

No, this is not one of my embryos BUT, it looks like most of my embryos. All 6 of them are blastocysts. Since my transfer is a mere 13 days from now-The embryologist called yesterday to discuss the embryos and which ones we wanted to thaw. Naturally, we want to implant 2 so will be thawing the straw with 2 in it. In this straw are 2 5 day blasts-one graded 4AB and one 4BB. These are excellent quality. If you would like to know more about how they grade embryos-GO HERE.

The other 4 are also excellent quality and graded either a 3 or 4. There are 3 in one straw and one 6 day blast in the other straw.

She said their clinic has an 80-90% success rate on thawing. I am already confident that both little sweeties will survive the thaw. If not, she will thaw the straw with 1 in it.

I also got more info on the egg donor mom today from my actual donor couple. For some reason all along I thought she was 24 or 26. She was only 22 when she donated her eggs. That being said, the embryologist says it is very likely that the transfer will work. She explained that the age of the egg donor is what they go on to give a success rate for pregnancy. If I were using a 40 year olds eggs (aka my own) with the same grading of 4AA or 4AB-the chances of the transfer working would go down considerably.

I am so thankful to the Lord tonight for my unselfish donor couple. They will never know the joy & love they have given us. I told her how nervous, excited and anxious I was about the upcoming transfer & she shared this verse with me... I will cling to it especially since it was sent from her through God to me.

So, DO NOT FEAR, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

3 Stripes!

2009-10-05T12:52:00.006-05:00

Everything went GREAT with my ultrasound this morning! My uterus was trilaminar aka TRIPLE STRIPE and my lining was 8mm! The cyst that was there 2 wks ago is "resolving." Now I just wait for my estrogen level to come back tomorrow to adjust my dose of delestrogen for tomorrow and Friday and then 1 last u/s Monday and I'm done until I get on an airplane headed for L.A.!!

It is hard to believe I only have 17 more days until my transfer!

I am thanking God today for making me wait and teaching me patience during this embryo adoption process. I am so thankful my body is now looking "perfect" for our FET.

I came home with the u/s report and it was laying on the counter. My DH asked "what's that?" I said, "It's the u/s report typed out and it says everything is just right." He said "why do you have to keep going back anyway?" I tried to explain "to make sure my uterus is ready." He said " okay, you handle it, do whatever it takes." Gave me a kiss and walked off. I THINK the details are more than he cares to know LOL!

It seemed before that it was taking FOREVER for my transfer to get here. NOW THE DAYS ARE FLYING BY and truthfully, I'm SCARED!!! It's all really happening!

Due Dates...1st Shot!

2009-09-29T14:44:00.005-05:00

Well-here it is... the shot I just gave myself. Delestrogen .2 with a 22 gauge 1 1/2 inch needle. I have no problem giving them to myself, in fact I prefer it. The sheer terror on DH's face and his shaking hand made me RUN like the wind and give it to myself. After you do it once, it's no biggie. PLUS, it feels good to be doing "SOMETHING" for my little embies AND to get this pregnancy party started that I can do myself! GROW LINING GROW! It helps to rub the area after so it won't be sore. I rub it whenever I think of it and it helps calm the burn tremendously. I psychotically looked up my due dates again HERE. It is a GREAT site for telling you how the baby is developing, when each trimester starts etc for 3 or 5 day FET's or IVF pregnancies.

So here are my big days with a 5 day FET of October 22nd.

SINGLETON Due Date: July 10, 2010
TWINS Due Date: June 18, 2010 (prefer this :)

And it says that my 2nd trimester will begin December 22nd so it would be PERFECT to tell our family at Christmas time!

Just 23 days and Mommy will be there guys!

Mis UNDA stood!

2009-09-24T13:07:00.004-05:00

Just got a call from my nurse. Apparently I misunderstood the size of this so-called cyst. THANK GOD! It was only 13x15mm and in her words "ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM-WE ARE GOOD TO GO for our October 22nd transfer." She said it was just left over cyst from my period and things look PERFECT! WHEW! All that FREAK OUT for NOTHING!

Here's the schedule:

September 25-Last BCP
September 29 & October 2-.2 delestrogen
October 5-u/s lab
October 6 & 9-delestrogen
October 12-u/s lab
October 13 & 16-delestrogen
October 17-add progesterone injection
October 22-TRANSFER DAY!!

Today I am humbled by the entire process of this embryo adoption. I am PRAISING MY MAKER and apologizing to him for doubting his grace, goodness and desire to give these little embryos a home. I will trust you from here on out, I promise.

Problem..

2009-09-24T07:37:00.003-05:00

I had my baseline u/s yesterday. The uterus looked perfect but there was a cyst in my ovary. 13cm by 15cm. I am praying it away. The tech told me it was there but says it may resolve. I will anxiously await my Dr's phone call today to report on that an my estradiol level.

For heaven's sakes. All I have left is one ovary and my uterus-the rest is history and I HAVE TO HAVE A PROBLEM! Why me?

I am off to have a massage and adjustment by my chiropractor-hopefully it will chill me out!

PLEASE LORD, I have so much riding on this. Plane tickets are purchased, all is ready and set. Sorry I'm angry, I know it is all in your timing. Please let this cycle work & make that dumb cyst go away.

The Best??

2009-09-22T14:24:00.007-05:00

SUPPOSEDLY-these are some of the best tests you can buy. I am on another board and all the moms swear by these DOLLAR TREE PREGNANCY tests. I was near a Dollar Tree last week so I thought "what the heck" and bought some. For $1-you can't beat it! I will be POAS! Something tells me with my OCD behavior I may need more that 3 :) I also bought myself something else that I am thinking may have "jinxed" me. I bought a $2 black Gap maternity shirt size XL at a garage sale. I figure if I'm having twins, size XL will be perfect but I am thinking that was a "bad move" and may send it to my friend Jen instead. Jen who actually IS pregnant and me, well....I'm not yet but there's nothing wrong with thinking positive right?

I am having my baseline u/s and estradiol tomorrow at 1:30pm-time to get this party started again! I take my last BCP Thursday and then I will wait for this FET cycle to begin and before I know it, I will be meeting my two sweet baby embryos for the first time! Exciting yet very intense and scary at the same time!

Lord-lets face it, you know I am a NERVOUS WRECK OVER HERE! I need you to calm my nerves (as usual). This whole process is REALLY happening and I can feel the tension in my entire being. Please help my stress to be minimal and my tension to ease. With just 30 days to go (but who's counting?) I am just praying for the strength and serenity I need to be a good mommy to the kids I already have and the sweet ones that await me. And please help me not to drive my DH completely crazy. AMEN

BLOTATION & FET final date.

2009-09-10T20:02:00.004-05:00

This picture describes how my legs, arms and belly have felt for a couple of weeks..I had my follow up today from my surgery with my GYN. She said everything looks "great." I have my baseline sono and estradiol scheduled for September 23rd. I will take my last BCP September 24-nothing like having 2 visits from AF in one month. She said my "EDEMA" aka all over body SWOLLENNESS is normal for all the hormones my body is trying to adjust to. I told her I exercise, don't drink caffeine and drink water all day long and she said "after you deliver your baby, it will go away." The Provera I was on she said probably made it worse. I have gained 6 pounds in water since my last visit and I can feel the tightness of my skin. She said the swelling was not enough to be concerned about. She also said that she would be praying-I encouraged her to PRAY FOR TWINS as I want both of my babies to survive. She is very excited about this as I am her first patient ever to go through an embryo adoption! CUTTING EDGE BABY!

I bought 1 pair of bigger jeans today after my appointment and they feel good!

The RE nurse from CA called me right after my appointment on my cell to say that my doctor would make sure I had my acupuncture and transfer on the 22nd WITHOUT RUSHING ME. I told her I felt rushed and am now trying to EMBRACE God's new plan. So this is how it will roll.....

My plane lands in L.A. at 9:40am October 22-take valium once in car
(i like that part)

Acupuncture 11am

Transfer 12pm

Acupuncture 12:30pm

1:15pm-OFF TO THE BEACH for 2 days of R & R

Heading home October 24th.

Lord, I really want to feel positive about this schedule change & I haven't really been-sorry. I'm trying to embrace it. I am now getting more excited every minute to meet my 2 little ones. PLEASE LORD, keep them safe until I get there and prepare my body to be "just perfect" for the 2 little ones created by you to grow, nuzzle in and become 2 beautiful babies I can one day hold in my arms & love! Thanks for all you've gotten us through so far! I promise to dedicate these 2 little ones to you and raise them to know the truth about you. I also promise to tell others about embryo adoption and the miracle of it all.
AMEN

RE Disorganization!

2009-09-09T11:52:00.004-05:00

Got a call at 8pm last night from my RE nurse. She wanted to know if AF came and let me know what my next steps will be. I started BCP's on Monday CD2 and will continue taking them until Sept. 24. I will have my sono and estradiol checked on the 24th too. Then she said "Well, I'll fax the orders over! Looks like we are ALL SET for October 20th."

I got a call at 8:14 with some news that REALLY TICKED ME OFF! It was her again. She said this......"The doctor just informed me that he will be at a conference the days you were going to be here. We can transfer the 22nd if you want." (the day I was flying home) WHAT ON EARTH?? I sent both her and the doctor the email with my dates and they said it was "ALL GOOD!" I had airline, hotel reservations, acupuncturist coming, a friend going with me who took off work and a friend in L.A. to pick us up from the airport! Not to mention my daughters birthday party was SUPPOSE TO BE the 23rd.

She didn't act too helpful at all basically saying that is just the way it goes & blamed it on him. So I scrambled last night to change my reservations EVERYWHERE. I will most likely be getting my FET the 22nd. I will fly in the a.m. of the 22nd and fly out the 24th-a much quicker trip than I wanted BUT to change it for an extra day was going to cost me and my friend $200.

Does anyone else feel their RE's office is somewhat DISORGANIZED?

I know God has a plan here but it is still upsetting to have to make all these changes.

I MUST KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!

(but I'm not happy about it)

Red Dot SPECIAL! "King of Pain"

2009-09-05T22:43:00.007-05:00

Remember that old song "KING OF PAIN" by The Police? Goes like this...(UHHUM *clears throat*)

"There's a little black spot on the sun today....It's the same old thing as yesterday."

When I was in my young teens and a real DWEEB I'm sure, we used to sing it like this

"There's a little brown spot in my underwear...It's the same old stain as yesterday."

I know, I'm weird and silly but for some reason that crazy song came back tonight when I was getting up from bed to use the bathroom. I GOT THAT STAIN but it's a little RED DOT! A little sign from God that my body is back on track doing what it is suppose to! And raring to get going for this cycle I am!!

So, I had to get up after I was already in bed to post this because I felt I had to or I wouldn't be able to sleep. I fear I will still toss and turn at the vast possibilities of my future embryos, baby names, how I will look pregnant, when I will tell our family-THERE'S SO MUCH ON THIS TWISTED IF ROAD That can literally "make you twisted" isn't there?

One minute I'm thrilled, excited and JUST KNOW I will be pregnant. I know it will work and I am confident that our plan to pass the other 4 embies on to my friend "A" will work out perfectly.

The next minute I'm filled with FEAR. Fear of the unknown, fear of it not working. Fear of failing the donor couple if it doesn't work. The fear that I or my DH may not want to go through this a second time if it doesn't.

That little red dot has meant that this is now FOR REAL, it's time to move forward and in 45 days my 2 sweet baby's will be inside me. It's so surreal.

And so this is the time where scriptures I have memorized come bursting forth in my brain and give me comfort. The first one is my absolute favorite!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:19

Embryo Glue-Have You Used It?

2009-09-02T08:00:00.005-05:00

I just found out about embryo glue THIS MORNING and by GEORGE I will be asking my doctor some detailed questions about this before my upcoming FET. Another gal on a board I am a member of said her Dr. charged $200 for it. I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to help my baby embies survive! Heres a bit about it...

Dr. Andrew Weston, Follas embryologist and lab director, is pleased to offer our patients a new product to help increase the likelihood of embryo implantation. Embryo Glue, a protein solution manufactured by Vitrolife, closely resembles the environment in the uterus at the time of implantation. It is not glue in the true sense, but acts as a bridge between the embryo and the uterus. The hyaluronan in Embryo Glue improves the communication between the embryo and the uterine wall to minimize embryo drifting after transfer. Early studies indicate that Embryo Glue may improve the implantation rate up to 34%! Dr. McLaughlin may recommend this option to you to enhance the likelihood that you will conceive!

Any of you ever heard of or used this??

Provera=Period... Whatever it takes!

2009-08-28T22:44:00.005-05:00

Got a message on my cell phone tonight while we were out to dinner that my Dr. wants me to take 5 days of Provera (form of progesterone) to help me start my period and then all will be well for my October 20 FET cycle. She already called it in to my Wal-Mart pharmacy so I will pick it up & start it tomorrow.

That's the scoop!

Dear baby embies,

Mommy has REALLY gone through a lot to get you but you are SO worth it! My patience has been tested so many times during this amazing journey but I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON YOU! The closer I get to meeting you, the more excited I am.

Love, Mommy

SAY WHAT??

2009-08-27T19:20:00.006-05:00

I've been calling my RE since we got back from VACA and FINALLY got to talk to the nurse today. I told her AF still has not shown up and she said "you mean the Dr. never put you on progesterone or anything when your cycle got cancelled?" And I said "no, he told me that in 2-14 days I should have AF again." I am thinking that my surgery has my system "all jacked up" and so it is taking longer.

She went on to say that he is out of town right now and will be back tomorrow and she would call me with his instructions tomorrow and then she said this........"AND YOU KNOW, THIS MAY DELAY THINGS WITH THIS CYCLE." I just wanted to SCREAM!!!!!!!

And I'm thinking HOW??? How could this delay a transfer that is 7 1/2 weeks away????? All you women out there who have had your cycles manipulated by the RE masters know that this is more than enough time to get my bod back in sync right? Give a sister some reassurance would ya?

UGH that's all I can say, UGH! AND that I wish I were back on the beach!!!

Thinking BEACHY thoughts...

2009-08-18T23:31:00.005-05:00

We are off on our vacation to the beach where I will be free of MOST pregnancy thoughts :)

I am however thinking about how 2 or possibly 4 little feet may make it a much more interesting vacation next summer!

Can't wait to sink my toes in the sand! I'll wiggle them around for you too!

AF still has not come & with my luck will decide to rear her head during my beach VACA where I can only wear a pad with my swimsuit-Isn't that HOT? (no tampons until after my post surgery check up)

Talk to you all when we get back!

Dear Lord,

Thanks for letting me ENJOY my VACA with my family without having to worry about any IF stuff. Thank you for allowing our family to take this wonderful vacation to the beach. I see now why my cycle would be MUCH BETTER in October although I REALLY wanted to be pregnant with my friend Jen, I understand. I pray we travel safe and stay healthy on our trip. Thank you for all you provide for us daily. AMEN

CONFIDENT!!

2009-08-12T12:42:00.004-05:00

We are so confident of my new transfer date that we booked my flight to CA today after making sure the date was fine with my Dr.! $219 with tax. I leave October 19th. Transfer the 20th and home the 22nd! My next step will be starting BCP's on day 2 of my next cycle so just waiting for AF to get here now.

I am still bloated like a beached whale in the belly area & look about 4 months along. I'm hoping it calms down a bit before our FL vacation next Thursday. I am getting all organized for that. Signed the boy up for football & trying to find a place to sign the girls up for dance.

My son-in-laws parents will be here the day after we get back from vacation & we will all prepare to say farewell to my SIL as he goes to defend our country in Iraq for a year.

Then before you know it, It will be transfer time! I am SO BLESSED!

TUBELESS Princess! Like, Yay!

2009-08-11T04:11:00.008-05:00

Our babysitters showed up promptly yesterday morning and before I knew it, DH & I were on our way for my surgery. I was very nervous about "going under." I was fear full that I may come out without my ovary since that is what happened a couple years ago when she went in to remove my endometriosis. I came out with no right ovary or tube.

Next thing I knew, I was home snuggled in my bed with my feet propped up like any TUBELESS PRINCESS SHOULD BE! And I had a very sweet set of feet propped up right along with mine. My 3 year old is very compassionate and he comforted me all day. My DH handled dinner, bed time and me very lovingly despite my demands for Sprite and Reese's. My doctor told me before the surgery that even if my Dr. in CA wasn't going to remove that nasty tube-she was. She said there is NO WAY I would have been able to carry my babies with that 30mm tube in there. I am thrilled to have this part over and to be moving on. SO THRILLED my ovary was in good shape and able to stay around.

I even scored these HOT mesh biker short undies out of the deal and they are super comfy over my incisions.

We are planning and October 20th FET of our sweet adopted embryos and I am thrilled! Thrilled to be moving forward. Thrilled that I took this big step to keep my babies out of harms way although SELFISHLY I wanted to move forward with MY PLAN not God's. Thrilled that I have one great ovary and a super gorgeous uterus to offer my little ones. Thrilled that DH and I discussed some super cool baby names last night. Thrilled that my pain is super minimal. Thrilled that God is the ultimate encourager through this journey and he is right by my side.

IT is 4am now and I am up. I went to bed at 7pm so now I am wired. Thank you all for your prayers and words of support.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

Thank you Lord for showing me that my little baby embryos are WAY more important than me and my timing.

Saddle...

2009-08-07T15:17:00.008-05:00

I'm climbing back in the saddle today. I'm done sulking peeps. The devil loves it when I sulk. And the last thing I want to do is please him.

I'm having surgery on Monday August 10th at 12:30pm CST to have my left fallopian tube removed. I had all my pre-op lab drawn today. Now THAT'S service!

We figured since my DH was already on vacation this week due to our scheduled transfer...Now is the time. I just didn't think it would be in just 3 days but I'm ready to get rid of that trouble making tube.

We are shooting for a new FET date of on or around October 21st.

Dear Lord,

Sorry I was a bit (okay a LOT) of a whiner yesterday. I know this is all in your plan and that my babies will be so much safer once my body is straightened out. You know I would never do anything to harm them. Thank you for forgiving me always when I do dumb stuff. And thanks for getting this surgery done while DH is still on vacation and can care for the little ones as I recover.

Cancelled...

2009-08-06T15:10:00.004-05:00

It was mine and my DH's choice to cancel our FET cycle. I could have gone on & had him drain it but we are not willing to put our baby embies at ANY risk.

All medicine is stopped & I will be having surgery to remove my left fallopian tube ASAP (I'm hoping next week) and then restart a new cycle with my next period. STUPID TUBE!

I will now resume sulking and feeling sorry for myself for a few days and then I will be sinking my toes into the Florida sand on August 20th.

I know this is God's plan but I just don't like it right now. I must keep my embies best interest in my heart.

Not Looking Good...

2009-08-05T18:47:00.004-05:00

Well, Its not looking good for my FET cycle to continue. It will MOST LIKELY be cancelled. I am disappointed to say the least but KNEW in my heart it was coming.

The nurse just called and said that I have a phone consult scheduled at 12:45CST with my Dr. tomorrow to discuss the results. I am suppose to start taking a baby aspirin daily & take my 0.3 delestrogen injection tonight and wait for the call tomorrow. She said he is "very concerned" about my hydrosalpinx and wants to discuss cancelling the cycle. Like I said before, I don't want to put my little ones in ANY danger. I want THE BEST possible environment for them and if that means I have to have a surgery to remove that DUMB TUBE, I will do it because I already love them-my precious ones.

Now off to sulk & tell my DH.

WAITING....

2009-08-05T15:56:00.003-05:00

Well-had my 6 day pre-transfer US and blood work today.

Again good and bad news.

Good-my lining is PERFECT at a 12 and trilaminar.

Bad-my hydrosalpinx has increased in size by a lot.

SO..I am waiting to hear whether my cycle will be cancelled or not. My Dr. will call me either tonight or in the morning to let me know whether he wants to drain the tube transvaginally the day before my transfer or have me cancel. I leave for CA in just 5 days and am waiting to making my airline reservations. I'M A WRECK! Sick to my tummy with worry.

But I am giving it ALL to my Savior and I take comfort in the fact that he already knows my plans. I just find it hard to believe that God would bring me all this way to stop things. My babies are waiting....

Good News...Bad News...Still Praising HIM!

2009-07-28T22:56:00.007-05:00

I am VERY CORNFUSED right now. But still very at peace that Jesus has me & my babies in his palm.

My appointment was uneventful today (or so I thought). The US tech RAVED about my "UTERINE PERFECTION" as I had my cd10 US. My lining was 9mm-& trilaminar-right where they want it! I also had my estradiol drawn but won't get results until tomorrow and then they will adjust my delestrogen dose. I also had my pap while I was there. It all went really smooth & I THOUGHT I was right on track for my transfer in 2 weeks.

AT 6:30pm my phone rang and it was the nurse telling me that my Dr. wanted me to call him at home tonight after 10:30pm to discuss the US results. I asked her if it was regarding the possible left hydrosalpinx near my left ovary. (which the sono tech said was "NO BIG DEAL") and she said "yes". CRAP!!!

I promptly called him at 10:40pm and he said that IF I do have a hydrosalpinx, then my chances of pregnancy decrease by 50%. He gave me 2 options....

He told me the "optimal" solution would be to STOP MY CYCLE RIGHT NOW and have surgery to remove my tube. BUT, it would cancel everything I've been doing (acupuncture, doctor appointments, arranging around my husband & 6 kids schedules)
OR He can drain the tube transvaginally the day before my procedure. Which WOULD NOT cancel my cycle. He said that he has had patients get pregnant both ways.

He also said it may truly not even be a hydrosalpinx since it has never been seen on any previous ultrasounds. He also said it could go away by my US next week. I asked him what he would do if it were his wife. He said "you have SO MUCH invested here with your husband & childrens work schedules & you have such a positive outlook and way about you, I would just go for it. Sometimes in life you have to take chances." Then he said He also said "if you don't get pregnant, I will work with you on ANY FEES for doing a second transfer." HERE IS A GOOD ARTICLE ON HYDROSALPINX.

These DARN ovaries and tubes have been NOTHING BUT TROUBLE FOR ME since I had my oldest with all my endometriosis, pain etc. I can't WAIT to get these out after I deliver my babies!

I believe JESUS IS THE ULTIMATE PHYSICIAN and HE WILL MAKE THIS GO AWAY before my babies get there. Remember just a few weeks ago on my first sono, I had 2 large cysts-1-5cm, 1-3cm. I prayed over my belly and those cysts several times daily and those babies were gone by my next US!

My DH was asleep when I called so I haven't shared the news with him yet. I will be doing some serious praying over my left side and I know MY GOD will make this work out. My thought right now is, If it is still there next week right before I go to CA, I may cancel then but I need to pray until then& wouldn't mind it if you all prayed along with me.

I know one thing...I DO NOT WANT TO PUT MY EMBIES in any danger of being lost & me being the cause. I am at peace with everything right now. I'm not scared but I don't know 100% what to do. TIME TO GET ON MY KNEES and talk to THE BIG GUY. What would YOU DO?

Lord, What am I to do? Please ease any anxieties or fears I may have. I will seek your calm and wisdom here. Help me not to make a selfish, rash decision but to look to you for all the answers. You have opened SO MANY DOORS along this journey. I just find it hard to believe that this closes the door. Lord, you know how much planning and logisitcs this has taken for our family to make this happen. If you want to shut this cycle down Lord, make it clear to us. No matter which doors open or close, I promise one thing, to be FAITHFUL TO YOU and PRAISE YOU no matter what. Help me to live my life to serve you. AMEN

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

Embies Safe....Me, Lost!

2009-07-24T10:47:00.003-05:00

I just got the call...Our 6 sweet adopted embryos are safe and sound in California! Their last stop before I meet them! The donor father has to do one more California required blood test called HTLV and then we will be set!

I have been feeling SO LOST! Like I should be doing "something MORE" to get ready for the transfer. I don't do anything until tomorrow when I give myself my next estrogen shot. Then I go back Tuesday for my next U/S, pap, cultures and blood work. GROW LINING GROW!

When she took my blood on Tuesday, it didn't hurt at all! Bizarre I have this crazy purple bruise. When I look at it, it reminds me that this is REALLY HAPPENING LOL! Proof that I'm moving forward though it seems SO SLOW! My kids keep saying "what's that mommy, what's wrong with your arm?"

Hope you all have a blessed and fabulous weekend!

Parenting Magazine-"Fate of Frozen Embryos"

2009-07-23T22:43:00.008-05:00

Click here to read an interesting article in Parenting Magazine about "The Fate of Frozen Embryos." Although I don't agree with all of it, I'm glad the fate of these little lives is "getting out there." It doesn't mention embryo adoption but embryo donation.This quote from the article REALLY made me think of just how precious these frozen babies are..

"I don't think anybody knows what their opinion is until they're in this situation," says Ginny Scott of Austin, TX. She had one embryo left after giving birth to her children, now 7 and 6. After two years of deliberating possibilities that never seemed right, she and her husband decided to use it to have another baby—her now 3-year-old daughter. One unused embryo, she says, "changed my whole life." She's thankful for her daughter, but also thankful she had only one embryo remaining.