Provera=Period... Whatever it takes!

Got a message on my cell phone tonight while we were out to dinner that my Dr. wants me to take 5 days of Provera (form of progesterone) to help me start my period and then all will be well for my October 20 FET cycle. She already called it in to my Wal-Mart pharmacy so I will pick it up & start it tomorrow.

That's the scoop!

Dear baby embies,

Mommy has REALLY gone through a lot to get you but you are SO worth it! My patience has been tested so many times during this amazing journey but I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON YOU! The closer I get to meeting you, the more excited I am.

Love, Mommy

SAY WHAT??

I've been calling my RE since we got back from VACA and FINALLY got to talk to the nurse today. I told her AF still has not shown up and she said "you mean the Dr. never put you on progesterone or anything when your cycle got cancelled?" And I said "no, he told me that in 2-14 days I should have AF again." I am thinking that my surgery has my system "all jacked up" and so it is taking longer.

She went on to say that he is out of town right now and will be back tomorrow and she would call me with his instructions tomorrow and then she said this........"AND YOU KNOW, THIS MAY DELAY THINGS WITH THIS CYCLE." I just wanted to SCREAM!!!!!!!

And I'm thinking HOW??? How could this delay a transfer that is 7 1/2 weeks away????? All you women out there who have had your cycles manipulated by the RE masters know that this is more than enough time to get my bod back in sync right? Give a sister some reassurance would ya?

UGH that's all I can say, UGH! AND that I wish I were back on the beach!!!

Thinking BEACHY thoughts...

We are off on our vacation to the beach where I will be free of MOST pregnancy thoughts :)

I am however thinking about how 2 or possibly 4 little feet may make it a much more interesting vacation next summer!

Can't wait to sink my toes in the sand! I'll wiggle them around for you too!

AF still has not come & with my luck will decide to rear her head during my beach VACA where I can only wear a pad with my swimsuit-Isn't that HOT? (no tampons until after my post surgery check up)

Talk to you all when we get back!

Dear Lord,

Thanks for letting me ENJOY my VACA with my family without having to worry about any IF stuff. Thank you for allowing our family to take this wonderful vacation to the beach. I see now why my cycle would be MUCH BETTER in October although I REALLY wanted to be pregnant with my friend Jen, I understand. I pray we travel safe and stay healthy on our trip. Thank you for all you provide for us daily. AMEN

CONFIDENT!!

We are so confident of my new transfer date that we booked my flight to CA today after making sure the date was fine with my Dr.! $219 with tax. I leave October 19th. Transfer the 20th and home the 22nd! My next step will be starting BCP's on day 2 of my next cycle so just waiting for AF to get here now.

I am still bloated like a beached whale in the belly area & look about 4 months along. I'm hoping it calms down a bit before our FL vacation next Thursday. I am getting all organized for that. Signed the boy up for football & trying to find a place to sign the girls up for dance.

My son-in-laws parents will be here the day after we get back from vacation & we will all prepare to say farewell to my SIL as he goes to defend our country in Iraq for a year.

Then before you know it, It will be transfer time! I am SO BLESSED!

TUBELESS Princess! Like, Yay!

Our babysitters showed up promptly yesterday morning and before I knew it, DH & I were on our way for my surgery. I was very nervous about "going under." I was fear full that I may come out without my ovary since that is what happened a couple years ago when she went in to remove my endometriosis. I came out with no right ovary or tube.

Next thing I knew, I was home snuggled in my bed with my feet propped up like any TUBELESS PRINCESS SHOULD BE! And I had a very sweet set of feet propped up right along with mine. My 3 year old is very compassionate and he comforted me all day. My DH handled dinner, bed time and me very lovingly despite my demands for Sprite and Reese's. My doctor told me before the surgery that even if my Dr. in CA wasn't going to remove that nasty tube-she was. She said there is NO WAY I would have been able to carry my babies with that 30mm tube in there. I am thrilled to have this part over and to be moving on. SO THRILLED my ovary was in good shape and able to stay around.

I even scored these HOT mesh biker short undies out of the deal and they are super comfy over my incisions.

We are planning and October 20th FET of our sweet adopted embryos and I am thrilled! Thrilled to be moving forward. Thrilled that I took this big step to keep my babies out of harms way although SELFISHLY I wanted to move forward with MY PLAN not God's. Thrilled that I have one great ovary and a super gorgeous uterus to offer my little ones. Thrilled that DH and I discussed some super cool baby names last night. Thrilled that my pain is super minimal. Thrilled that God is the ultimate encourager through this journey and he is right by my side.

IT is 4am now and I am up. I went to bed at 7pm so now I am wired. Thank you all for your prayers and words of support.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

Thank you Lord for showing me that my little baby embryos are WAY more important than me and my timing.

Saddle...

I'm climbing back in the saddle today. I'm done sulking peeps. The devil loves it when I sulk. And the last thing I want to do is please him.

I'm having surgery on Monday August 10th at 12:30pm CST to have my left fallopian tube removed. I had all my pre-op lab drawn today. Now THAT'S service!

We figured since my DH was already on vacation this week due to our scheduled transfer...Now is the time. I just didn't think it would be in just 3 days but I'm ready to get rid of that trouble making tube.

We are shooting for a new FET date of on or around October 21st.

Dear Lord,

Sorry I was a bit (okay a LOT) of a whiner yesterday. I know this is all in your plan and that my babies will be so much safer once my body is straightened out. You know I would never do anything to harm them. Thank you for forgiving me always when I do dumb stuff. And thanks for getting this surgery done while DH is still on vacation and can care for the little ones as I recover.

Cancelled...

It was mine and my DH's choice to cancel our FET cycle. I could have gone on & had him drain it but we are not willing to put our baby embies at ANY risk.

All medicine is stopped & I will be having surgery to remove my left fallopian tube ASAP (I'm hoping next week) and then restart a new cycle with my next period. STUPID TUBE!

I will now resume sulking and feeling sorry for myself for a few days and then I will be sinking my toes into the Florida sand on August 20th.

I know this is God's plan but I just don't like it right now. I must keep my embies best interest in my heart.

Not Looking Good...

Well, Its not looking good for my FET cycle to continue. It will MOST LIKELY be cancelled. I am disappointed to say the least but KNEW in my heart it was coming.

The nurse just called and said that I have a phone consult scheduled at 12:45CST with my Dr. tomorrow to discuss the results. I am suppose to start taking a baby aspirin daily & take my 0.3 delestrogen injection tonight and wait for the call tomorrow. She said he is "very concerned" about my hydrosalpinx and wants to discuss cancelling the cycle. Like I said before, I don't want to put my little ones in ANY danger. I want THE BEST possible environment for them and if that means I have to have a surgery to remove that DUMB TUBE, I will do it because I already love them-my precious ones.

Now off to sulk & tell my DH.

WAITING....

Well-had my 6 day pre-transfer US and blood work today.

Again good and bad news.

Good-my lining is PERFECT at a 12 and trilaminar.

Bad-my hydrosalpinx has increased in size by a lot.

SO..I am waiting to hear whether my cycle will be cancelled or not. My Dr. will call me either tonight or in the morning to let me know whether he wants to drain the tube transvaginally the day before my transfer or have me cancel. I leave for CA in just 5 days and am waiting to making my airline reservations. I'M A WRECK! Sick to my tummy with worry.

But I am giving it ALL to my Savior and I take comfort in the fact that he already knows my plans. I just find it hard to believe that God would bring me all this way to stop things. My babies are waiting....